Long overdue update

I've been away for a long time. I keep meaning to type an update, but it just didn't happen. Lots has happened since my last post and our lives won't be the same because of it.

My dear mother in law passed away on July 10th quite unexpectedly. She was supposed to join Thornton, Alison and I as we went out to Virginia to pick up Rachel from her 3 week ballet summer intensive at the Virginia School of the Arts. Around 1:30 in the morning, my FIL called sobbing. He just kept repeating, "Mom's dead". I screamed. Thornton, who had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs, heard me. He rushed over to his Dad's house, just 2 blocks away. I was left in the house w/ a sleeping child and a broken heart. Everyone who knows me knows that my MIL was my mother figure. I have a mother and but we aren't close. We're polite, but I don't get from her what I need from a mother. Mom (my MIL) filled this role for me, and she was one of my confidantes.

Thornton returned home to tell me that his dad was trying to sleep. It was 5 in the morning and we knew we couldn't sleep. So we talked and waited w/ dread having to tell Alison that her grandma had died. All the kids were very close to grandma, but grandma "got" Ali in a way that sometimes none of us could, because she had raised a child like her in Thornton. When we told Alison, she didn't cry, she just put her head down and said nothing. We went over to Dad's and the next days were full of the busyness that accompanies a death. Thornton had to fly out to Oklahoma where Patrick's baseball team was playing to retrieve him. I ended up flying alone to Virginia to tell Rachel and bring her home.

Mom's memorial service was perfect. Over 350 people attended. There were people there that I just couldn't have expected to come, yet they came nonetheless. Patrick spoke about his love for his grandma and read what Rachel had written. I spoke about some of the lessons I had learned from Mom. Somehow I got through it w/out breaking down in tears.

Now, we are trying to adjust to life w/out her. Dad works 2-3 days a week out of town. He stays at the lake house that they own about an hour away from here. He returned to work after 2 weeks and said that it felt like the right thing to do. When he's gone, we keep their German Shepherd, Woofie, and their cat, Missy. I feel like I'm somehow being forced to grow up. That seems strange, because I'm not an immature person, but I've had to deal w/ things I didn't feel prepared to handle....and I handled them. Like I said, it's a whole different world now.

I have a strong faith, and that hasn't changed. I love God with all my heart and I don't question His ways. I miss Mom like crazy and long for the day when I'll see her again. But, in the mean time, I've got work to do here on earth. It's just that some days, it's easier to do that work than other days.