Word of the Day

Alison got off the bus yesterday and came bounding into the house and yelled, "Hi Mom, I'm abode!" I asked her to repeat what she said and she replied, "I'm abode. We're learning a new word everyday at school and today's word was abode, which means home". Could my daughter be any cuter?

Alison and Rachel both auditioned for the Springfield Ballet Company's Nutcracker. We knew Rach would get a part, since she's a Trainee w/ the company and has been in the Nutcracker for the last 2 years, but Alison was just old enough to audition and they don't take but a couple of 8 year olds. Well, Alison didn't get in. She handled it so well, though. She already knew that Rach didn't get in when she was 8, so I think that helped a bit. Rachel was cast as a flower. It's not the waltz of the flowers flower (that's for Company girls), but it's at the beginning of the 2nd act before everyone comes in prior to the variations. It's her first part on pointe!! She's so excited! It's pretty cool, because she's going to be dancing w/ some company members and she's the youngest one doing this part. We're so proud of her!

Patrick has been having some troubles in school. His grades are decent, but not what he is capable of doing. It's so frustrating.....I just don't know if he's working hard enough. I want him to realize how important school is.

Feeling like an adult

I've always had this problem with feeling like I'm an adult. I have no idea why that is, but I always feel like I'm not quite up to the same level as other adults. I don't mean that I'm immature or anything...it's kind of hard to explain....I just don't usually feel all that grown up. The past few days have changed that a bit. Thornton and I have had to step up to the plate to convince his Dad to have his mom hospitalized to figure out her medication situation. She is on way too many meds and, in our opinion, can take them innappropriately so that she is often very sedated during waking hours. It's been going on for a long time and I have felt it coming to a head lately. It had to stop and now it hopefully will. All of her medications have been stopped and they're starting over from scratch. We just got all of the medications out of the house. I kept telling Thornton that I hoped we were wrong in some of our accusations, but it doesn't appear that that is the case. She is going to have a difficult time coming up. It's going to be equally hard on my father in law, who recently retired and is now home to see what we've seen for far too long. And, it's hard on Thornton, who is angry at his mom for doing this to herself. I have to look forward to a positive end result. It may be a bumpy road getting there, though.

Labor Day Weekend

We had a great Labor Day weekend. My in-laws own a house on a private lake about an hour from here, so we all headed out there. My brother in law, his wife and two kids (ages 4 and 3) and my MIL/FIL were there too. Granted, all those people in one house can be a bit hectic sometimes, but really, it all went well. The kids all love to swim in the lake, so we spent a lot of time doing that. Rachel and Patrick are great game players, so we played a lot of Scrabble and a game called Quiddler (a card game similar to scrabble and very fun!). I didn't win anything! Nothing. In fact, in one game of Scrabble, I didn't even break 100. I got whipped by my 11 year old. I guess I should feel proud that she's such a smartie, but seriously....I was pathetic. I got a nap in every day, which was sublime.

Now, we're back to the grind. School is back in full force. Dance has started back up. Rachel dances 11 hours a week now! Alison's taking a class too, so I will now be spending my evenings driving back and forth to town. I know I'll miss it when they're grown, so I won't complain.

Both girls are trying out for The Nutcracker a week from Sunday. Rachel has been in the last two productions, and since she's a Trainee w/ the Ballet Company, we feel pretty secure that she'll get a part. She'd love to be a Party Girl in the opening scene, but we'll just have to see. Alison is finally old enough to audition....you have to be at least 8. But, I've tried to ready her that there are a lot of little girls that audition and very few make it. Rachel didn't make it her first year auditioning. Alison tells us that she understands and won't be sad, but I'm not sure I believe her. I see this glint in her eye that thinks she can do anything. Good for her...but I would rather not have to deal w/ the fallout if she doesn't make it. Maybe I should just be as confident as she is, eh?

Being a parent

Sometimes being a parent just sucks. (I hate the word "sucks" and I don't let my kids use it...but after I typed "stinks" it just didn't seem to capture the mood...LOL!). Tonight I am going to have to tell Patrick that he can't do something that he wants to do and I can't really explain to him completely our reasons for making the decision. I know he's going to be mad, but there's nothing I can do about that. He has to realize that we have his best interest at heart and wouldn't do something to purposefully hurt him. It's a complicated situation and he's somewhat in the middle of it, which is exactly where we don't want him.

And besides, he'll now get to spend the entire weekend with us, his grandparents, his uncle, aunt and his cousins at the lake house. What could be more fun than that? Note to self....I've got to figure out a way of securing the little cabin for Thornton and me to sleep in so we don't have to be in the main house w/ all the noise!

When big boys cry...

Patrick was really upset about something last night....to the point of tears...lot of them. I know what he's upset about (and I am not going to discuss details here), but I couldn't get him to talk about specifics of his hurting. He promised me that he would talk with me tonight...that he just wanted to go to bed last night. Thornton and I have both already talked with him about this issue and we know that while it might seem like a big deal now, he will move on and grow from the situation in time. But, to a 14 year old boy, I'm sure it sounds a bit hollow. So, I just held him and let him cry....and thanked God that my big boy still comes to his Mommy when he's sad.

Mixed feelings

The kids started school last Friday. I'm really having a hard time not having them at home during the day any more. I've never felt like this before. Usually I'm ready to kick them to the curb once school starts. Maybe it's that they're older and *easier*? Who knows.

Patrick did just fine on his first day of high school. Of course, it helps that he has a Senior girl who picks him up every morning and drives him to school. Yesterday, after his first full day of classes, he already had an hour of History homework. I am glad that he wanted to take honors history and language arts....I hope he'll not get too burned out!

Rachel also did fine on her first day of Junior High (technically...it's Middle School). It was her first time dealing w/ switching classes every hour and having a locker. She had no problems and seemed very confident. The only snag was that she "lost" the bag that had her gym shorts and t-shirt in it. She was pretty worried about it, but thankfully it was found and she had it for her first full day yesterday.

Alison's third grade teacher seems very nice. I was a little concerned to realize that she is pregnant. Alison does best w/ consistency and obviously there will be a long term sub in her class at some point. She was very proud to present me with her agenda after school yesterday. She's seen Patrick and Rachel have agendas, so she was pleased that she was finally old enough to have one.

Am I crazy that I'm already looking forward to Labor Day, so I get a long weekend w/ the kids?

Perseverence

Last night Patrick and Thornton went to the St. Louis Cardinal game. They were especially lucky because at last night's game, Rick Ankiel, a former pitcher for the Cards returned to the line-up....as an outfielder. And, he hit a home run! 7 years ago, he was 20 years old and pitching in the playoffs for the Cards. Out of nowhere, he couldn't find the strike zone. He threw 5 wild pitches in one inning and 8 overall in the game. He wasn't the same pitcher again. He had no control. The Cardinal organization didn't want to give up on him and tried at first to get him back as a pitcher. When that failed, they decided that he was a good enough athlete, that they would try to turn him into an outfielder. This guy has worked for 7 years to get back in the majors and last night, on his first game back, he hit a home run (and struck out twice...but hey...who cares?). Thornton said that the crowd went just crazy! What an amazing lesson for anybody. The Cardinal organization should be commended for sticking w/ this guy and not just cutting their losses and running. And Rick Ankiel, well, it goes w/out saying, that he should be more than proud of himself.

A little bit ago, I heard talking coming from Alison's room. I knew that Rachel had already left for dance, so I was a little confused. I didn't figure Patrick was up already, so I went in to investigate. She was lying in bed, reading aloud to herself. It was so sweet....and I was greatly relieved that she wasn't talking to herself...

Registration and other stuff

Got all the kids registered for school today. Everything went smoothly, 'cept for all the money that was spent, of course! I know that public school is way cheaper than private school, but when you're registering 3 kids at once, it sure does add up.

Patrick and Rachel will be starting at new schools. Patrick will be a freshman in H.S., but he seems pretty secure in finding his way around the school already. I was pleased that he signed up for Key Club during registration. It's a national service organization. I had mentioned to him that I thought it was a good idea to get involved in clubs and things other than just sports, and this was a great choice.

Rachel will be starting Middle School, so she'll have her first experience with having a locker, switching classes each hour and dressing for P.E. Patrick is going to help her walk her schedule in a little bit when I go to volunteer at registration. She doesn't seem nervous at all, but we'll see how it goes when she gets a little closer to the time.

Alison is in her last year of Elementary School. She said this morning, "I sure am going to miss that school next year!" She and me both! It appears that she has a new teacher this year, but there's a chance that it was a teacher who got married over the summer and has a different name this year. I've been praying for a good teacher for her, so we'll have to wait and see.

Rachel is in her 2nd week of the ballet intensives (out of 3 weeks), so she's been dancing from 9 - noon every day. Last week she thought the ballet instructor was too easy, so she was happy that this week's was harder. And, she reports that she "LOVES" the jazz instructor.

Musical Diversion

Nothing gets you out of a bad mood better than a good musical (well, there *are* other things...). Last night I was in a bad mood and had the biggest sinus headache. My in-laws called to see if I wanted to go w/ them to see "Hairspray". I didn't really want to go...I wanted to wallow. But, a voice deep inside me said to go, and I'm so glad I listened. It was a very fun-loving and joyful movie. I never could get past the fact that the mom was John Travolta in drag...despite that critics say that you will. In fact, I thought he was the weakest link in the movie. The dancing was phenomenal. But...is it wrong for a 39 year old woman to have a crush on a 19 year old guy? Zac Ephron is yummy....'nuff said. I'm counting down the days to High School Musical II, along with Rach and Ali...LOL!

Some days...

...it just doesn't seem all that fun to be a small business owner.

The last thing I need

Ugh...I just checked my paypal account and noticed 2 unauthorized charges made using my Paypal debit card. I spent all morning on the phone and think I've got it all figured out, card cancelled, etc. But, it'll be a while before the money gets back in my account. And, I need that money! I've got to turn my mood around and not let this bog me down.

Update-a-thon

Yeah, it's been a long time since my last post. Gone are the days when summer was a time to relax and the pace was slower than during the school year. This summer seems to have disappeared before my eyes and I'm not ready to send these kids o' mine back to school in three weeks. But, alas, that's the case...and the next 3 weeks are busy as usual.

Patrick is home from our church's Mission Trip to Lewes, DE. He got home last night at midnight. He worked fixing up homes of underprivledged people. Sounds like he had a great time...but I'll know more when he wakes up from his impromptu nap and we can actually have a chance to talk. He's going to a program called Freshman Advantage at the high school starting tomorrow. It's designed to help incoming freshmen adjust to high school life. I think he's actually looking forward to it....although it could be that he's just looking forward to seeing friends.

Rachel will spend the next three weeks in a ballet intensive workshop for 3 hours every morning. The ballet company that she's a trainee with holds these workshops every summer and bring in instructors from all over the country. It's a really awesome experience for the kids to grow their technique and learn from renowned teachers.

Alison is going to go to a new program at the elementary school called JumpStart which is kind of like the program Patrick is going to, except it is aimed at kids that didn't qualify or need to go to Summer School, but could probably use a little extra help getting back into the school mode. She seems excited with it...although she won't want to get up in the morning. I bought her a 3rd grade math workbook at the store yesterday and she immediately sat down to work on it, so that's encouraging. I've been praying all summer for a good teacher for her in 3rd grade. We didn't care for her 2nd grade teacher all that much and I really want a good match for her this year.

We have decided that we need to try to find a good home for our Siberian Husky, Mia. She is an amazing dog, but she really needs to live somewhere where she can have more room to run. If we accidently leave the door open or answer the door and don't watch carefully, she'll bolt out and just run and run and run. Our town has a strict leash law and we've been fined several times already. So, I placed an ad on petfinder.com about her. Thankfully I had read on their forum to beware of scammers, so I didn't fall for the inquiries about her from far and wide that are written in broken English requesting to know how much we want for her. Apparently, the scam goes that they then send a "Cashier's Check" to you for more than the amount, tell you to deposit it, and send them back the difference. Obviously, the check bounces (assumably after you've sent them the money) and you're out the money/fees. I am savvy enough not to fall for such a scheme anyway, but it breaks my heart that people are feeding off of people in such a disgusting way.

Yesterday I came downstairs and Thornton said, "Are you cooking something?" I told him that I wasn't, but that I'd made some tarts, so maybe that was what he was smelling. He said, "Oh, something just smelled really bad". I thought to myself....nice...if something smells bad, he thinks I'm cooking? But, then, he capped it off with, "Oh, never mind...I think Mia just farted." I told him that I forgot, and that I really was cooking farts and that dinner was ready! Seriously...I wasn't sure just how offended I should be....LOL!

I'm not meant to be single

Thornton and Patrick have been down in St. Louis since yesterday (Wed.) morning. They won't get back 'til Friday night. I can't stand not having Thornton around. Of course, when he's here, he drives me nuts, but that's normal, right? We probably talked on the phone 8 times yesterday. Granted, 4 of those were during Patrick's baseball game to get updates (I probably hate not being at his game just as much as I hate not having them home, but it just isn't possible to be down there all week).

But, the girls and I will survive. Maybe after their dance classes tonight, we'll do something girly. Whatever that means...LOL!

World Series

Patrick's baseball team is playing in a 14U World Series in St. Louis this week. They started play on Sunday and continue play through Saturday. Sure...this is a great experience for him. But, fact of the matter is, all I can see are the dollar signs associated w/ it. Most of the team are actually staying in a hotel for the whole week. We....are not. We live in a fairly well off community. But, let's face it...our family is not well off. Thornton works for our church and I own Cleanse Your Soul. We do OK...our children always have clothes on their back and we live in a nice house. But extras...well, those are few and far between. And, I'm OK w/ that. I don't need the kids to have every whim their heart desires. Thornton and Patrick will be staying w/ a cousin in St. Louis for the rest of the week. Hopefully, they will be eating cheaply. Other than that...I just need to get over my disdain of the money that gets thrown around so casually, as if everyone can afford what most can, and realize that this is an experience of a lifetime for Patrick.

Next week he leaves on a church Mission Trip. Yup...that's crazy expensive too. But, that experience has the power to change his life and mold his young Christian mind in such a positive way, that I'd gladly shell out the money.

It might be a difficult year...

...for little Alison. Patrick will be a freshman in high school and Rachel will be in 6th grade (so, Middle School). At church the high schooler and junior highers do a lot of fun activities together. Today, both Patch and Rach are at Six Flags in St. Louis. Now, if I were an adorable little 8 year old, I'd be angry that I didn't get to go. But, Alison handled it really well. She hasn't complained once today (well, not about that, at least! She did complain royally when I told her it was time to go to dance and she deemed herself too tired to go, despite having spent the whole afternoon at a friend's house...but that's another story!).

My brother is two years older than me and I well remember always being "too little" to do the things he did. Believe me...it made me mad! So, I think Thornton and I will have to have some special time set aside for just Alison when Patrick and Rachel are off doing their fun activities.

Only I....

Only I could get an injury painting pottery! I took the girls to one of those places where you paint pottery and then they fire it in the kiln for you and you get the finished piece in a week or so. I was painting this intricate coaster...it had lost of tiny little parts that needed to be painted. Well, I must've had my neck cricked in a certain way, because by the end of the night, it started hurting me, but when I woke up this morning, I was in big time pain. It's much better now, but I think it's hysterical that I pulled a muscle painting pottery.

The pottery (I keep typing potty...LOL...) painting thing was part of a church group, so we were with a bunch of people last night. It was so interesting to see how different people tackle creative projects. Some people were the dive right in kind of painters. They picked their project immediately, had no trouble picking colors and just started painting away. I fall into this category, as did both my girls. Alison must've used every painting technique and color available on her piece. Can't wait to see how the finished project turns out. Other people had a very difficult time choosing what they wanted to do and then were almost afraid to choose colors, for fear of making a mistake. But, really...you couldn't make a mistake. One person had such a hard time, that she ended up painting her pottery piece using a sample piece as her guide. She did it exactly the same, using the same colors and everything. I commented to her that it was funny how children just dive right into project, whereas adults seemed to have a harder time. She said that she was exactly the same as she is now as a child, so that blew my theory.

We had a great evening, but next time I think I'll take some Tylenol first!

I'm tired!

Patrick's team played in the State baseball tournament this past weekend. The games were played up in Bourbannais, IL, which is 2 1/2 hours from our house. They played two games Saturday (won 1 , lost 1) and then had to wait around to see when they would play on Sunday. We had to leave to get back home for church on Sunday, so Patrick stayed up there w/ a teammate's family in a hotel. He called Saturday night around 9 and told us that they didn't play until Sunday night at 8 p.m.! ACK! He could've come back down w/ us, if we'd known. Thornton and I weren't going to go up for the Sunday p.m. game because it was single elimination, so if they lost, we'd have to come right back home, but if they won, we'd have to find a hotel for the night. We figured it would be easier to wait and see if they won or lost and then go up on Monday if need be. But, when Patrick called, he said, "And it's great...because it's so late, you and Dad can come!" Yeah...what were we to say to that? So we left the girls w/ Thornton's parents and headed up for his game. We got there at 7:45 and the game before them had just started. Patrick's game didn't even start 'til after 9:30 p.m. After 6 innings, the score was tied and the time limit had expired. So then they do this tie breaker thing where they start a runner out on 2nd, there's one out automatically and each batter has a count of one ball and one strike. Obviously, this is meant to speed up the end of the game. The two teams battled back and forth and Patrick's team finally ended up losing the game in the 3rd extra inning. What a disappointment! By this time, it was after midnight. We didn't get home 'til after 3 a.m.

Now...here's the kicker....we travelled all that way to the game and ended up playing a team from Springfield, which is 15 minutes away! How frustrating is that??

Alison's story

I don't think I've ever blogged about when I was pregnant with Alison. At our 16 week ultrasound, the tech noticed that her head was considerable smaller than it should be. Apparently, this can be a sign of chromosomal abnormalities. We were sent to a specialist who did a more detailed ultrasound, plus an amniocentesis. We knew that no matter what, we were keeping the baby, but we wanted to know what we were dealing with. The ultrasound revealed that not only was the head size way too small, there was also a thickened portion at the base of the skull, which was another sign that this baby might have chromosomal problems.

We had to wait 2 weeks for the amnio results to come back. During this time, we shared our story with everyone and asked them to pray. I know we were surrounded by prayers because I wasn't hysterical with worry like I normally would have been. When the results came back, it showed that there were no chromosomal problems! We were over joyed, but the doctors were still concerned because there had to be a reason her head was so small.

I had ultrasounds every two weeks to monitor her growth and each test continued to show the head size was too small. At approximately 32 weeks, following another ultrasound, my doctor walked into the exam room with a strange look on her face. She said, "Judy, I don't know how to explain this, because I've never seen anything like this before. But, the baby's head size is normal now". I started to cry, but then I explained to her that I knew that God had healed the baby in utero. Our prayers had been answered!

We had been having a hard time deciding on a name for the baby. We had a few names we liked, but couldn't decided for sure on anything. Thornton and I had always wanted to name one of our children "Alison" after his sister who had committed suicide in 1987. But we just weren't sure if his parents would be OK with that. We didn't want any bad memories to come back to them. After we found out that the baby's head was normal sized, my father in law called me. I could tell that his voice was a bit choked back. He said to me, "Mom and I were wondering if you might consider naming this baby Alison". I started bawling. Of course, that's what we had to name her. Her middle name is "Grace", because she is a physical representation of God's grace in our lives.

8 years ago yesterday, Alison came into the world w/ a bang. I was scheduled for a C-section on Monday, June 28th. Friday night at 10:30, my water broke and my placenta had abrupted, so I was bleeding heavily. Thornton rushed me to the hospital and Alison was born by C-section at 11:58 p.m. She is Thornton's child through and through. She is *just* like him and she adores her Daddy like no other little girl has. We got her name right!

16 years

Today is Thornton and my 16th anniversary. What's funny is about a month ago, we had a discussion because neither of us could remember how many years we'd been married. He thought it was 17, but I was pretty sure it was 16. I was right...LOL (as always!).

Thornton and I met at Blackburn College in Carlinville, IL. My freshmen year at school, he was sitting out a year (he'd ummm....been "asked" to leave by the administration for poor grades...LOL). Even though he wasn't enrolled in school, he came down to the campus from his home an hour away and sang w/ the choir. He went on the choir tour that Spring, too. I remember thinking, "hmmm....this is guy is a bit pompous", because he would come down and act like he owned the place during choir rehearsals.

Despite the fact that I didn't have a good impression of him, I was oddly excited when I realized that he was going to be returning to school the next year. We both sang in the choir and in Madrigals and got to know each other during my sophomore year (his "second" sophomore year!). By the end of 1st semester, I knew that he was someone I really liked. After Christmas break, I arranged for a friend to invite both him and I to her birthday party. She did...and after the party, we spent the night cuddling in his dorm's parlor. We started officially dating on January 25, 1988 and have been together ever since.

Being with Thornton has really allowed me to grow as a person. I used to be very shy and unsure of myself. He was what I referred to as "the golden boy" in college. Everyone knew and loved Thornton. I decided that I could either spend my life in his shadow, or I could become an interesting, outgoing person in my own right.

I love you, honey!

1 child, 1 hubby home

Alison and Thornton returned from camp today. They were at a church "first timer's camp". Thornton has been helping out as a counselor for the past 5 years or so, but this was Alison's first camp experience.

While she was gone, I completely redid her bedroom. Poor child was still sleeping in a room w/ BOY soccer player border all over the walls. It was so not a pretty little girls room. Now it is! I'll have to take pictures once the camera gets back from camp. 3 of the walls are a deep raspberry pink, the other wall is covered in 2 layers of batting, and covered w/ pale pink fabric. We had bought a bedding and curtain set from someone at church last year, and it has beautiful flowers all over it. Her bed is now surrounded w/ tulle netting. When she got home, she went to put her stuff in her room. She walked in and said, "MOM!!". Then the dog walked into her room and she said, "Mia is not allowed in my room anymore". I'll be honest, considering the hard work I've put in over the past 2 days (dark pink requires 3 coats of paint!), it wasn't exactly the huge reaction I was expecting or hoping for, but I know she appreciates it.

Poor Alison is exhausted. I wonder if she slept at all while she was away. I did hear that she was a bit too talkative the first night. I haven't really gotten too much information out of her about camp, but I'm thinking I will when she's less tired.

Thornton, of course, is exhausted. He said that although camp was only 3 days, it seemed much longer this year. Could be because the temps were in the 90's the whole time. Hot temperatures sure can sap your energy.

I just read that Ruth Graham is in a coma and nearing the end of her life. Ruth is Billy Graham's wife. I'm a huge Billy Graham fan. Last summer, I had the privilege of hearing their daughter, Ann Graham Lotz, speak at a conference in Montreat, N.C., where the Graham family home is. Ruth was ill at the time, but managed to come to one of the sessions. Billy has been having lots of health issues, too, so it makes me sad to think that he will go home to heaven likely soon too. Granted, there's no better place to be than heaven, so I shouldn't feel too bad!