Merry belated Christmas!

Our Christmas was very nice. It was difficult, being that it was the first Christmas w/out mom...and I cried all through the Christmas Eve service. I didn't want to...I wanted to be the happy-go-lucky mom that I strive to be. But I just couldn't hold back the tears.

Christmas Eve we had our traditional rueben sandwiches (which, for the record, I don't enjoy UNLESS my FIL makes them). We let the kids open one present each on Christmas Eve, so they did that and we eventually headed to bed. Alison, Thornton and I were sleeping in one room (oh...I forgot to mention, we stay at my FIL's house, along w/ my BIL's family) that has two beds. Alison and I kept chatting away and I kept forgetting that she was supposed to be fallign asleep. Finally I stopped talking and she was asleep in no time flat.

Christmas morning, I was the first one up. I had to wake all our kids up! My brother in law's kids didn't get up 'til close to 9! I guess I should be thankful, but I was excited for them to open their gifts. Everyone was pleased w/ their presents, which makes a mom happy! I'm such a big bargain hunter that I loved that we can scrimp and still afford some of the things that they really wanted, but at a discounted price.

We spent the rest of the day playing games, assembling kits (Alison got so many fun kits!!) and eating.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the mall to spend some of their Christmas money. I am so proud that they have taken some of my bargain hunting ways to heart. Rachel got 3 adorable shirts for like $5 each. Patrick got 3 games and a movie for under $20. Alison went to Claire's...'nuff said. You can get a ton of there for next to nothing.

I feel like I wanted so much out of this Christmas. I know our kids understand the meaning of the day. They know it's not about the stuff. But, I also know that this was just a Christmas I had to merely survive, in many ways. I am still grieving my mother in law almost 6 months later. It's got to get easier...and I'll hold out hope that that will be the case.

Woofie

My father in law's German Shepherd tore his cruciate ligament in his knee on Sunday. We're not sure what happened exactly, but my niece was outside playing with him (too roughly as per usual) and the next thing we noticed, he was not putting any pressure on his back left leg. I took him to the vet yesterday and they confirmed the injury. We can't meet w/ the surgeon until Friday, so we'll find out then what's next. Unfortunately, Woofie has significant arthritis in his right hip, which will hamper his recovery when he has to use that side more.

We take care of Woofie at least 2-3 days a week while my Father in law is out of town working, so he's like our pet too. He's the sweetest tempered dog and it's hard to see him in pain. We live in a split level house, and it's hard for him to do the stairs, but he just can't stand to stay on one level if we're on the other level. Poor guy. Of course, our shih tzu Millie is staying close to Woof's side. In fact, she's sleeping on his bed right now. It'd be nicer if she's actually let Woof sleep there too...but he's such a gentleman that he's sleeping on the floor while she's on the bed. I think I'm going to go shove her off...LOL!

At least they're sorry...

Ugh...Paypal is driving me nuts lately. I appreciate their service, really I do...but sometimes it's really more of a necessary evil than anything else. Approximately a month ago, somehow someone used Thornton's Paypal debit card number to purchase something or other from 3 gas stations in Florida. Paypal was great and cancelled his card and blocked the transactions. Granted, I had to wait 5 days or so for the charges to "fall off" the account. This was frustrating, since the amount was over $200 and we actually need that money to live off of (my children like to eat....). I thought after the money came back into the account, we were done w/ the sage. Wrong. Last week I got an email stating that they had found in my favor and I would notice money come in and out of my account to back up this decision. Strange, I thought, but whatever they needed to do for their paperwork (or paper trail as the case may be) is fine by me. So, the money went into my account again, and then was taken out. Fine...I'm now back to exactly where I should be. Until....they took the money out AGAIN! So, that put me over $200 in the negative at a time when I really, really need the money. So I called. Paypal hires really nice people. I'm being sincere in that statement. They are very nice and understood my problem and agreed that they were in error. The lady I talked to Sunday night said that she would walk the paper over to the claims department herself and try to get the money back in Monday morning. Monday morning...no money. So I called. Talked to another very nice person who stated that she saw the paperwork, but that the complaint was put into a queue for review and that takes 24-48 hours for results and I'd get an email. UGH! So, today I get an email stating that they found in my favor (they better have....) and in 24-48 hours the money will be back in my account. Good grief!!

Meanwhile, I need to ship packages, order products, etc. but money is tied up by Paypal. I'm not a big-time operator here. Our family isn't rolling in money. $250 is important to us. Granted, I'm thankful we're getting it back, but it's been frustrating to say the least.

What is it w/ Illinois?

Just got word that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was just arrested on corruption charges stemming from trying to "sell" the Senate seat made vacant by Obama moving on to bigger and better things. Believe me, I'm sure that as this investigation unfolds, they'll find many more things to tack onto his charges. He's been corrupt since day 1. Mind you, Illinois' previous Governor, George Ryan is currently in jail on corruption charges as well.

I mean, seriously...what makes these dudes think they can get away w/ this stuff? I don't think I can get away with anything, not even a grape from the grocery store. I still feel guilty about the ratty old dove Thornton and I "borrowed" from the Christmas tree in the hospital in Eugene, OR when Patrick was born. It's the source of my yearly Christmas pang o' guilt every year as we unwrap the ornaments to place on the tree. And believe me, no one would want this dove back now...it's quite beat up (mostly from the drive home from the hospital on the car antenna, but that's a story for another day...).

Speaking of Christmas trees (I have a very interesting stream of consciousness going here: from Illinois governors to my Christmas tree)....we don't have ours up yet. We have been so busy that there simply hasn't been the time. I did nail all the kids down to work on the tree Saturday afternoon after the church Christmas pageant (I hate that word...) rehearsal. Then, of course, Thornton says, "do we really need to put up a tree this year?" Not that I hadn't thought of it myself, since we helped put up my Father in law's tree already and he lives two blocks away AND we're going to be there for Christmas Eve and Christmas. BUT, it just wouldn't seem right not to have a tree in our house. I'm sure I'll rethink that if our shih tzu puppy knocks it over. Besides, I'd be lost w/out my moment of guilt, wouldn't I?

Nutcracker

Today ended the run of Rachel's 4th Nutcracker. She started out 4 years ago as an angel, then the next year she was a soldier. Last year she was cast as a flower, but also got to dance as a big mouse when someone was injured. She was cast in both those roles again this year. It's a big commitment for these girls. Rachel dances 6 days a week.

I helped w/ costumes again this year. It's really quite humorous, since I don't know how to use a sewing machine. But, I can do all the handwork that "real" sewers (ha...that word is the same as like the sanitation sewers!) prefer not to do. I'm exhausted now, too....after climbing the two flights of stairs at least 15 times today alone to move costumes out after the show.

Here are some pictures of Rach in her two costumes:

In the pic on the left, she's in the middle in the pink dress. In the other picture, that's the soldier she battles (she gets to throw her over her shoulder and carry her offstage)

Our new president?

Alison's school (a 4th and 5th grade center) voted yesterday and if they are right, later tonight we'll find out that Obama is our new president. 89% voted for him! Alison had made a poster for her choice of candidate: Braco Bama! How cute is that? All day I've been giggling about that.

The other day Rachel and I were commiserating about our eyes. She and I have the same extremely hooded eyes. Mine are much worse than hers, but she has the same issues w/ not being able to see eye shadow, top eyelid liner and smudging mascara if you don't keep your eye open, yet tilted until it's dry. I told her that she should just wait 'til she's 40 like me and then she'll really have something to complain about. Her response? "Wait!!! My eyes are going to look like that?" As if I'm some hideous monster! I have teased her mercilessly since.

Thornton and I have been attending a seminar at church called Financial Peace University. It's a Christian based financial and budgeting program by Dave Ramsey. We're not in financial trouble...we don't have any credit card debt at all. We have one car payment that we're going to pay off shortly after the first of the year, and our mortgage. That's it. So, in many ways, we're in good shape. But, we don't always know where our money goes, you know? Anyway, we've been budgeting better, spending only cash on groceries, gas, entertainment, clothes, etc. It's hard....and the kids don't always understand when we can't buy things they might want, but in the long run, it's going to be worth it.

Here's a picture of Millie on Halloween:



How cute is that??

Is it normal?

Ok...you can be honest w/ me, but is it normal to talk to your dog while you're on a walk? Millie and I walk 3-4 times a day. She needs some of her puppy energy walked out of her and I, well....I need the exercist. Anyway, while we're out, if I see a bird or a squirrel or anything, I point it out to her. It recently dawned on me that perhaps that's weird.

Also, since I work from home and am often home alone, I have realized that when I have to go to the bathroom, I will unbutton my pants and start to pull them down before I'm even in the bathroom. I figure that since no one's at home, why not? Of course, I live in fear of the time I forget and pull my pants down in front of one of the kid's friends.

Oh...and talking to complete strangers...is that normal? Like yesterday, Thornton and I were in Taco Bell (for the Fresco steak soft tacos..they are actually healthy!) and there was this dude who had like 12 tacos on his tray. We were both getting our sauce at the same time and I asked him if he was going to eat it all by himself. Like it's any of my business. Then, apparently I laughed my loud laugh. At least that's what Thornton told me. That's when it dawned on me that I must be a huge embarrassment to my family. Just think of when I get older and even less inhibited? I bet my kids already have a plan in place to put me in a home...LOL!

Long overdue update

I've been away for a long time. I keep meaning to type an update, but it just didn't happen. Lots has happened since my last post and our lives won't be the same because of it.

My dear mother in law passed away on July 10th quite unexpectedly. She was supposed to join Thornton, Alison and I as we went out to Virginia to pick up Rachel from her 3 week ballet summer intensive at the Virginia School of the Arts. Around 1:30 in the morning, my FIL called sobbing. He just kept repeating, "Mom's dead". I screamed. Thornton, who had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs, heard me. He rushed over to his Dad's house, just 2 blocks away. I was left in the house w/ a sleeping child and a broken heart. Everyone who knows me knows that my MIL was my mother figure. I have a mother and but we aren't close. We're polite, but I don't get from her what I need from a mother. Mom (my MIL) filled this role for me, and she was one of my confidantes.

Thornton returned home to tell me that his dad was trying to sleep. It was 5 in the morning and we knew we couldn't sleep. So we talked and waited w/ dread having to tell Alison that her grandma had died. All the kids were very close to grandma, but grandma "got" Ali in a way that sometimes none of us could, because she had raised a child like her in Thornton. When we told Alison, she didn't cry, she just put her head down and said nothing. We went over to Dad's and the next days were full of the busyness that accompanies a death. Thornton had to fly out to Oklahoma where Patrick's baseball team was playing to retrieve him. I ended up flying alone to Virginia to tell Rachel and bring her home.

Mom's memorial service was perfect. Over 350 people attended. There were people there that I just couldn't have expected to come, yet they came nonetheless. Patrick spoke about his love for his grandma and read what Rachel had written. I spoke about some of the lessons I had learned from Mom. Somehow I got through it w/out breaking down in tears.

Now, we are trying to adjust to life w/out her. Dad works 2-3 days a week out of town. He stays at the lake house that they own about an hour away from here. He returned to work after 2 weeks and said that it felt like the right thing to do. When he's gone, we keep their German Shepherd, Woofie, and their cat, Missy. I feel like I'm somehow being forced to grow up. That seems strange, because I'm not an immature person, but I've had to deal w/ things I didn't feel prepared to handle....and I handled them. Like I said, it's a whole different world now.

I have a strong faith, and that hasn't changed. I love God with all my heart and I don't question His ways. I miss Mom like crazy and long for the day when I'll see her again. But, in the mean time, I've got work to do here on earth. It's just that some days, it's easier to do that work than other days.

50 years

Tomorrow is my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Thornton and I will be driving up to Chicago for a dinner in their honor tomorrow night, spending the night and attending church with them Sunday morning. I wish I could say that I'm looking forward to going. I love my parents...really I do...but they are so difficult. Most couples that celebrate the amazing milestone of being married for 50 years share a love story that's worth retelling. My parents, well, not so much. I mean, I can't even begin to recount the number of times my dad threatened divorce to my mom while I was growing up. They used to fight all the time. It got to the point growing up where I almost wished they'd get a divorce rather than fight all the time. My stomach used to be in knots constantly when they'd start to fight. Ugh...I just hated it.

Now, I guess they are happy. It's hard to tell, because they're not the kind of people to say "I Love You" ever. But, they are together all the time, so they must at least enjoy each other's company. And, I'm glad for that.

I'm worried that they are going to expect me to give a speech of some sort tomorrow night. I mean, what do I say? I always have trouble finding a Mother's Day card or Father's Day card that isn't all mushy with phrases like "You've meant the world to me" or "I'm the person I am today because of you", because quite frankly, they ring a little untrue.

But, again, 50 years...that's a long time. And, I know that they are looking forward to the party very much. I hope it's a wonderful evening for everyone.

Rachel and Alison left today to drive to Virginia w/ my in-laws. Rachel is due at the Virginia School of the Arts on Sunday to begin her 3 week ballet intensive on Monday. She's so excited!! She's going to have a great time and will love spending so much time with other girls that share her passion. She'll be living in a dorm, which will be a fun experience, too. I'll miss her like crazy, but at least she'll have a phone, so I can talk to her daily. We'll meet up w/ my in-law's and Alison on Thursday in Indianapolis for another of Patrick's baseball tournaments.

Patrick is in St. Louis this weekend for a tourney. It's only 90 miles away, but because of other commitments, and having to head up north tomorrow, we're not able to go. I know he likes hanging out w/ his team mates at the hotel and being "on his own", but it just makes me realize all the more that we only have him at home for 3 more years.

Human piggy bank?

Last night we were all hanging out at church and Alison came to me and said that she had swallowed a quarter and she felt it stuck just above her stomach. I quickly took her to a friend of ours who is a nurse and was also at church and she said we better take Ali to the hospital because quarters are big and it might be trouble. Thornton and I just assumed that it would pass, but thought we better heed the instructions we were given, especially since Alison was having pain.

On the way to the hospital, she started having lots of pain and really freaking out. It was all I could do to keep driving while trying to calm her breathing down. We got to the ER and it was packed. Seriously, we were like the 7-8th person in line for ONE registrar. And, not a person in front of us appeared to have any visible problem or was in distress in any way. Alison was really in pain by now, but we waited. I just didn't know if I should create a scene or not and no body seemed to think she ought to have their spot in line. Once we finally saw the registrar, we got sent back to a room immediately.

Everyone was so nice to us, but, as we all know, nothing moves quickly in a hospital. We finally got her x-rayed and eventually found out that the coin was indeed stuck in her esophagus and wouldn't pass on it's own. Thornton arrived just as they were putting the IV in. I'm so glad he did, because Alison is a Daddy's girl through and through and she needed her daddy there. And, I needed him there, because I was trying not to let her see that I was crying too.

A Pediatric GI doctor was paged and we were told that she would need surgery to remove the coin under general anethesia. They put a scope down her throat and remove the coin w/ a tiny pair of tweezer like things. Thankfully they gave Alison some medicine to help relax her before they took her back for surgery. And, did it ever work!! She was loopy! She thought it was hysterical that everyone had four eyes, two noses and two mouths.

The surgery itself took less than 10 minutes. She woke up in recovery very slowly, but was fine to be taken home. We got home around 1:30 a.m. She's still sleeping this morning.

Oh, and in case you care....it was an Iowa Quarter. :-)

1 heart - 3 locations

My heart is split right now between three locations. Alison has been at camp since Sunday and will be there until Friday. I miss her like crazy, but from the letters we've received, she's having a blast. She's such a strong little thing....I never could've gone away for 2 weeks at a camp 5 1/2 hours away when I didn't know a soul. And she'll only turn 9 in a couple of weeks!

Patrick and Thornton are in Indianapolis at a baseball tournament w/ Patrick's team. They got in one game yesterday and won. Patrick pitched a 2 hitter! I'm so proud of him...especially because they are playing big-time teams in this tournament that have National ball playing experience. They got rained out last night and it's raining there now. So, who knows when I'll get them home.

Rachel is here at home w/ me, but she's had a friend over since 9 a.m. yesterday morning. They are still sleeping, of course! So, I was kind of lonely yesterday. I am so proud of my kids to be such strong, independent kids, because that's how we want them to be. But, as a mom, who has spent 15 1/2 years raising kids so far, it's hard to not be needed quite so much as time goes by.

Thank goodness for the puppy!

A good day for Ali

Yesterday, I was armed for a fight w/ Alison, and it never happened! She got off the bus in a great mood. I matter of factly told her that she would be riding along w/ me to drop Rachel off at dance, and then she and I would go to the mall, get some dinner, and buy a few gifts for parties Rachel is going to. She started to get upset, but I just ignored her. I actually even walked out of the room. She decided, I guess to just accept the plans. Then Thornton offered for her to go w/ him to The Hitting Center of a few hours, then to church. She gladly accepted that option. Later in the evening, she and Thornton stopped by to see his parents and she apologized to Grandma w/out us having to ask her to.

Tonight she is going to my in-law's lake house w/ Thornton's brother and his family for the entire weekend. I know I'll miss the little bugger while she's gone, but maybe some time away will be good for all of us.

The terrible 8's?

Alison has been a real pill lately. She is just so disagreeable. She will get something set in her head and if what she wants isn't realized, she'll throw a fit. It really is hard to be around her sometimes. Yesterday, Patrick had a double header and I was going to go to that with Rachel. I had to leave his game 1/2 way through to take Rach to dance. I gave Ali the option of coming w/ me (although we wouldn't be home 'til 9 or so), going to church w/ Thornton, which is usually what she does and enjoys, or going to Grandma's house for the evening. She said that she wanted to go to the game, but wanted to take Millie, our puppy, with her. Well, that just wasn't going to work, because we'd be gone so long, and Millie is a puppy. Alison just couldn't understand that and threw a fit. I explained to her that I had tried very hard to give her 3 good options for the evening and it was very frustrating to me to have her upset when I was trying to make her happy. She finally decided to choose to go to Grandma's house.

After about an hour, I got a call from Grandma saying that Alison was being unreasonable and asking what she should do. Apparently, Grandma was wanting to take Ali to dinner, since she didn't have food to eat in the house and Alison didn't want to go. And, yes, of course, she threw a fit. I had Grandma take her to Thornton at church. Ugh! It's so frustrating.

When I picked Ali up at church I tried talking to her about how I understood that sometimes she gets shuffled around due to Patrick's baseball and Rachel's dance schedules, but that we really did try hard to have good things for her to do. I told her that it is never appropriate for her to be so disagreeable to adults, especially her grandparents. I have no idea if I got through to her...I'm guessing not.

I wish I knew the answer for what would work w/ this kid.

Back to "normal"

Thornton's parents returned home from their 6 weeks in Florida on Sunday. We have been keeping their German Shepherd and cat while they were gone. We did settle into a nice routine w/ Woofie (their dog) and Millie (our puppy), but it wasn't always easy. Woofie is, well...he's a big dog. He was always in the way. We live in a split level house and his favorite sleeping spot was right inside the front door or at the top of the steps. Neither place was especially convenient because he was always in the way. But, God bless him, he put up w/ Millie like a champ, so I really have little to complain about. Millie was constantly in his face or nipping at his heels. Now that Woofie is back home, my in-laws report that he is depressed and misses his little friend. Awww....

We signed Alison up for a 2 week camp this summer. She'll be going to Kanakuk, a Christian sports camp in the Ozarks near Branson, MO. She'll love it. She so needs things to do and she often gets a bit lost in the shuffle w/ Patrick's baseball and Rach's dance. The camp is at the beginning of the summer, so that should start her summer off great!

My parents were down this weekend for a short visit and to see Rachel in her Junior High musical. My parents look so old lately. Granted, the *are* old (80 and 78), but wow, lately...it just seems to be that they age so much every time I see them. My parents are, and always have been, very critical people. Poor Patrick has his driving learner's permit and is really proud and excited to drive. But, my dad had to cut him down and tell him that he didn't stop properly at a stop sign. It wasn't constructive criticism, it was mean-spirited "I know best" criticism. I explained to Patrick that that's just how Grandpa is, but I could tell it hurt him.

I have been trying to eat healthier and lose weight since September. Since then, I have lost 65 pounds. The big joke has been that my parents haven't noticed yet! When I was heavier, you better believe that Mom would ask me every time she saw me if I'd lost any weight, but now that I have....nothing! At church on Sunday, someone came up to me to tell me how great I was looking. My mom was standing right there, and she finally said, "have you lost some weight?" All I said was, "yeah"....and she didn't persue the conversation any more. Too much!

I always tell Thornton that he's darn lucky that I'm half as normal as I am after growing up w/ my parents!

Driving!

Patrick got his Learner's Permit on Friday! What shocks me is that while he is in Driver's Ed in school right now, he had absolutely no experience behind the wheel before he got his permit. In fact, he is only taking the classroom portion of Driver's Ed right now and won't take behind-the-wheel until he's about ready to turn 16. In the meantime, they turn these kids loose w/ their parents to start getting their 50 hours of required time spent behind the wheel!

I'm sure some kids are nervous about driving and don't want to start out driving right off the bat. Not our kid! He has already logged close to 2 hours of driving just since Friday evening. He's actually doing quite well. I am really proud of him. He's even driving through a drive through already.

I'm just wondering when the novelty of driving will wear off. When I think of the amount of time I spend driving the kids to and from their activities, believe me, the last thing I get excited about is driving!

Those were the days

I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago. Here's the thing...there was no trauma, no wringing of hands. I'm totally OK w/ it. I know that my 40's are going to be amazing. I like the person who I am, and I know that the person I'm going to become (at least I hope I continue to evolve and grow) will be even better. I'm finally becoming comfortable in my skin.

Alison was changing for dance in the van the other day and she was sitting there essentially fully unclothed while she put her tights on. My child is not shy! Rachel looked at Alison and said, "I sure miss those days." I asked her what she meant and she said, "you know...the days when I was completely flat on top and could just change anywhere". Mind you, Rachel has the equivalent of a small A-cup!

A little shameless bragging now: Rachel auditioned for and got accepted to a 3 week summer ballet intensive in Lynchburg, Virginia! She auditioned kind of as a fluke and more for the experience than anything else. But, she got in!! So, now we have to deal w/ sending her away for 3 weeks, which she'll love and we'll dread. I'm so proud of her!

Patrick finished up baseball tryouts for the high school team yesterday. They post the list today, but we know he made it. He's hoping to get to play JV or potentially a few Varsity games this year (he's a freshman). The fact that there's still snow on the ground makes it a little hard to imagine playing ball anytime soon, but hope springs eternal that the days will soon start warming up.

Wow...it's been forever!

It's really been a long time since I've blogged. No reason, 'cept for life. But, life is good! The whole family, save for Alison, are completely, whole-heartedly ready for winter to be over. Alison, is, as I type, out sledding w/ her friend. Ahhh....to be young! Granted, I'd be out with her, too, if I wasn't so tired of being cold.

We have a new addition to our family. She's an adorable 12 week old shih tzu named Millie. We weren't planning on getting another dog after we got rid of Mia, our Husky, but we were blessed w/ the offer of a free puppy and it just seemed right. And, it is! She's a sweetie and has stolen all of our hearts. Potty training is going well, but I've forgotten what it's like to be so invested in someone else's bodily functions! Heck, Alison was potty trained 6 years ago...so it's been a while! I'll post a picture when I have more time.

I'll type more later...I promise...but I've got to run now.