Rachel - Hoops for Heart

Rachel is once again raising money for the American Heart Association through Hoops for Heart. Here's her donation page if anyone would like to help out:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=284665&lis=1&kntae284665=63B30DC7D85B4ED5B6FD8DA6984E32FC&supId=247705599

Rachel has a good friend, Shelby, who's grandpa died from a heart attack at an early age, so they are trying to raise a lot of money to help the cause.

In the light now

A few weeks before Christmas I started to notice that I was not as happy as I thought I should be. I have suffered from depression for year (lots o' years!), but I've been really well controlled on medication. I know that I am still grieving my mother-in-law's passing, but it just seemed like more. So, my father-in-law (a psychiatrist) wanted me to try a new medicine that is on the market and shown really good results. I agreed, because I've had times in the past where my meds just stopped working or I've become immune to them. Here's the problem....I thought I was supposed to go off my other meds completely and start the new one. Wrong! I was supposed to continue taking one of them, and add in the new med. So, for weeks I was on just the new med and it wasn't working. And, this was right before Christmas! I honestly thought that I'd never experience depression like that again. While I was able to continue w/ my life, I just didn't have any joy and I was a really mean mom and wife.

Finally, my father-in-law, concerned w/ my moods asked me exactly what I was taking and discovered my error. It took probably another two weeks to get my mood back to "normal", but I'm finally there...and it feels good!

On a more positive note, Patrick attended a baseball college showcase in St. Louis and we found out that even as a sophomore, he is being noticed by college scouts. He was asked to join an elite showcase team for 3 tournaments this fall. We couldn't be more proud...and he's a great kid!

My cat loves me

and I mean...LOVES me. Our cat Ozzie has always liked me a lot, but I figured that it was because I'm his source of food and he loves his food. He used to favor Patrick, to the point where he would run up to Patrick and whine/meow until Patrick paid attention to him. Personally, I think it's just because Patch usually wears a baseball cap and Oz likes to rub his face against the bill. But lately, Ozzie has been crazy in love w/ me. If I am lying in bed watching TV, Ozzie will curl up on my shoulder *right* next to my face and nuzzle. I sleep on my stomach and Ozzie sleeps in the crook of my neck snuggled right up against my head. Let me tell you, sometimes it's a little much...I mean like this cat has a thing for me! But don't take this post as a complaint, because I'll admit it: I love it!

Merry belated Christmas!

Our Christmas was very nice. It was difficult, being that it was the first Christmas w/out mom...and I cried all through the Christmas Eve service. I didn't want to...I wanted to be the happy-go-lucky mom that I strive to be. But I just couldn't hold back the tears.

Christmas Eve we had our traditional rueben sandwiches (which, for the record, I don't enjoy UNLESS my FIL makes them). We let the kids open one present each on Christmas Eve, so they did that and we eventually headed to bed. Alison, Thornton and I were sleeping in one room (oh...I forgot to mention, we stay at my FIL's house, along w/ my BIL's family) that has two beds. Alison and I kept chatting away and I kept forgetting that she was supposed to be fallign asleep. Finally I stopped talking and she was asleep in no time flat.

Christmas morning, I was the first one up. I had to wake all our kids up! My brother in law's kids didn't get up 'til close to 9! I guess I should be thankful, but I was excited for them to open their gifts. Everyone was pleased w/ their presents, which makes a mom happy! I'm such a big bargain hunter that I loved that we can scrimp and still afford some of the things that they really wanted, but at a discounted price.

We spent the rest of the day playing games, assembling kits (Alison got so many fun kits!!) and eating.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the mall to spend some of their Christmas money. I am so proud that they have taken some of my bargain hunting ways to heart. Rachel got 3 adorable shirts for like $5 each. Patrick got 3 games and a movie for under $20. Alison went to Claire's...'nuff said. You can get a ton of there for next to nothing.

I feel like I wanted so much out of this Christmas. I know our kids understand the meaning of the day. They know it's not about the stuff. But, I also know that this was just a Christmas I had to merely survive, in many ways. I am still grieving my mother in law almost 6 months later. It's got to get easier...and I'll hold out hope that that will be the case.

Woofie

My father in law's German Shepherd tore his cruciate ligament in his knee on Sunday. We're not sure what happened exactly, but my niece was outside playing with him (too roughly as per usual) and the next thing we noticed, he was not putting any pressure on his back left leg. I took him to the vet yesterday and they confirmed the injury. We can't meet w/ the surgeon until Friday, so we'll find out then what's next. Unfortunately, Woofie has significant arthritis in his right hip, which will hamper his recovery when he has to use that side more.

We take care of Woofie at least 2-3 days a week while my Father in law is out of town working, so he's like our pet too. He's the sweetest tempered dog and it's hard to see him in pain. We live in a split level house, and it's hard for him to do the stairs, but he just can't stand to stay on one level if we're on the other level. Poor guy. Of course, our shih tzu Millie is staying close to Woof's side. In fact, she's sleeping on his bed right now. It'd be nicer if she's actually let Woof sleep there too...but he's such a gentleman that he's sleeping on the floor while she's on the bed. I think I'm going to go shove her off...LOL!

At least they're sorry...

Ugh...Paypal is driving me nuts lately. I appreciate their service, really I do...but sometimes it's really more of a necessary evil than anything else. Approximately a month ago, somehow someone used Thornton's Paypal debit card number to purchase something or other from 3 gas stations in Florida. Paypal was great and cancelled his card and blocked the transactions. Granted, I had to wait 5 days or so for the charges to "fall off" the account. This was frustrating, since the amount was over $200 and we actually need that money to live off of (my children like to eat....). I thought after the money came back into the account, we were done w/ the sage. Wrong. Last week I got an email stating that they had found in my favor and I would notice money come in and out of my account to back up this decision. Strange, I thought, but whatever they needed to do for their paperwork (or paper trail as the case may be) is fine by me. So, the money went into my account again, and then was taken out. Fine...I'm now back to exactly where I should be. Until....they took the money out AGAIN! So, that put me over $200 in the negative at a time when I really, really need the money. So I called. Paypal hires really nice people. I'm being sincere in that statement. They are very nice and understood my problem and agreed that they were in error. The lady I talked to Sunday night said that she would walk the paper over to the claims department herself and try to get the money back in Monday morning. Monday morning...no money. So I called. Talked to another very nice person who stated that she saw the paperwork, but that the complaint was put into a queue for review and that takes 24-48 hours for results and I'd get an email. UGH! So, today I get an email stating that they found in my favor (they better have....) and in 24-48 hours the money will be back in my account. Good grief!!

Meanwhile, I need to ship packages, order products, etc. but money is tied up by Paypal. I'm not a big-time operator here. Our family isn't rolling in money. $250 is important to us. Granted, I'm thankful we're getting it back, but it's been frustrating to say the least.

What is it w/ Illinois?

Just got word that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was just arrested on corruption charges stemming from trying to "sell" the Senate seat made vacant by Obama moving on to bigger and better things. Believe me, I'm sure that as this investigation unfolds, they'll find many more things to tack onto his charges. He's been corrupt since day 1. Mind you, Illinois' previous Governor, George Ryan is currently in jail on corruption charges as well.

I mean, seriously...what makes these dudes think they can get away w/ this stuff? I don't think I can get away with anything, not even a grape from the grocery store. I still feel guilty about the ratty old dove Thornton and I "borrowed" from the Christmas tree in the hospital in Eugene, OR when Patrick was born. It's the source of my yearly Christmas pang o' guilt every year as we unwrap the ornaments to place on the tree. And believe me, no one would want this dove back now...it's quite beat up (mostly from the drive home from the hospital on the car antenna, but that's a story for another day...).

Speaking of Christmas trees (I have a very interesting stream of consciousness going here: from Illinois governors to my Christmas tree)....we don't have ours up yet. We have been so busy that there simply hasn't been the time. I did nail all the kids down to work on the tree Saturday afternoon after the church Christmas pageant (I hate that word...) rehearsal. Then, of course, Thornton says, "do we really need to put up a tree this year?" Not that I hadn't thought of it myself, since we helped put up my Father in law's tree already and he lives two blocks away AND we're going to be there for Christmas Eve and Christmas. BUT, it just wouldn't seem right not to have a tree in our house. I'm sure I'll rethink that if our shih tzu puppy knocks it over. Besides, I'd be lost w/out my moment of guilt, wouldn't I?

Nutcracker

Today ended the run of Rachel's 4th Nutcracker. She started out 4 years ago as an angel, then the next year she was a soldier. Last year she was cast as a flower, but also got to dance as a big mouse when someone was injured. She was cast in both those roles again this year. It's a big commitment for these girls. Rachel dances 6 days a week.

I helped w/ costumes again this year. It's really quite humorous, since I don't know how to use a sewing machine. But, I can do all the handwork that "real" sewers (ha...that word is the same as like the sanitation sewers!) prefer not to do. I'm exhausted now, too....after climbing the two flights of stairs at least 15 times today alone to move costumes out after the show.

Here are some pictures of Rach in her two costumes:

In the pic on the left, she's in the middle in the pink dress. In the other picture, that's the soldier she battles (she gets to throw her over her shoulder and carry her offstage)

Our new president?

Alison's school (a 4th and 5th grade center) voted yesterday and if they are right, later tonight we'll find out that Obama is our new president. 89% voted for him! Alison had made a poster for her choice of candidate: Braco Bama! How cute is that? All day I've been giggling about that.

The other day Rachel and I were commiserating about our eyes. She and I have the same extremely hooded eyes. Mine are much worse than hers, but she has the same issues w/ not being able to see eye shadow, top eyelid liner and smudging mascara if you don't keep your eye open, yet tilted until it's dry. I told her that she should just wait 'til she's 40 like me and then she'll really have something to complain about. Her response? "Wait!!! My eyes are going to look like that?" As if I'm some hideous monster! I have teased her mercilessly since.

Thornton and I have been attending a seminar at church called Financial Peace University. It's a Christian based financial and budgeting program by Dave Ramsey. We're not in financial trouble...we don't have any credit card debt at all. We have one car payment that we're going to pay off shortly after the first of the year, and our mortgage. That's it. So, in many ways, we're in good shape. But, we don't always know where our money goes, you know? Anyway, we've been budgeting better, spending only cash on groceries, gas, entertainment, clothes, etc. It's hard....and the kids don't always understand when we can't buy things they might want, but in the long run, it's going to be worth it.

Here's a picture of Millie on Halloween:



How cute is that??

Is it normal?

Ok...you can be honest w/ me, but is it normal to talk to your dog while you're on a walk? Millie and I walk 3-4 times a day. She needs some of her puppy energy walked out of her and I, well....I need the exercist. Anyway, while we're out, if I see a bird or a squirrel or anything, I point it out to her. It recently dawned on me that perhaps that's weird.

Also, since I work from home and am often home alone, I have realized that when I have to go to the bathroom, I will unbutton my pants and start to pull them down before I'm even in the bathroom. I figure that since no one's at home, why not? Of course, I live in fear of the time I forget and pull my pants down in front of one of the kid's friends.

Oh...and talking to complete strangers...is that normal? Like yesterday, Thornton and I were in Taco Bell (for the Fresco steak soft tacos..they are actually healthy!) and there was this dude who had like 12 tacos on his tray. We were both getting our sauce at the same time and I asked him if he was going to eat it all by himself. Like it's any of my business. Then, apparently I laughed my loud laugh. At least that's what Thornton told me. That's when it dawned on me that I must be a huge embarrassment to my family. Just think of when I get older and even less inhibited? I bet my kids already have a plan in place to put me in a home...LOL!

Long overdue update

I've been away for a long time. I keep meaning to type an update, but it just didn't happen. Lots has happened since my last post and our lives won't be the same because of it.

My dear mother in law passed away on July 10th quite unexpectedly. She was supposed to join Thornton, Alison and I as we went out to Virginia to pick up Rachel from her 3 week ballet summer intensive at the Virginia School of the Arts. Around 1:30 in the morning, my FIL called sobbing. He just kept repeating, "Mom's dead". I screamed. Thornton, who had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs, heard me. He rushed over to his Dad's house, just 2 blocks away. I was left in the house w/ a sleeping child and a broken heart. Everyone who knows me knows that my MIL was my mother figure. I have a mother and but we aren't close. We're polite, but I don't get from her what I need from a mother. Mom (my MIL) filled this role for me, and she was one of my confidantes.

Thornton returned home to tell me that his dad was trying to sleep. It was 5 in the morning and we knew we couldn't sleep. So we talked and waited w/ dread having to tell Alison that her grandma had died. All the kids were very close to grandma, but grandma "got" Ali in a way that sometimes none of us could, because she had raised a child like her in Thornton. When we told Alison, she didn't cry, she just put her head down and said nothing. We went over to Dad's and the next days were full of the busyness that accompanies a death. Thornton had to fly out to Oklahoma where Patrick's baseball team was playing to retrieve him. I ended up flying alone to Virginia to tell Rachel and bring her home.

Mom's memorial service was perfect. Over 350 people attended. There were people there that I just couldn't have expected to come, yet they came nonetheless. Patrick spoke about his love for his grandma and read what Rachel had written. I spoke about some of the lessons I had learned from Mom. Somehow I got through it w/out breaking down in tears.

Now, we are trying to adjust to life w/out her. Dad works 2-3 days a week out of town. He stays at the lake house that they own about an hour away from here. He returned to work after 2 weeks and said that it felt like the right thing to do. When he's gone, we keep their German Shepherd, Woofie, and their cat, Missy. I feel like I'm somehow being forced to grow up. That seems strange, because I'm not an immature person, but I've had to deal w/ things I didn't feel prepared to handle....and I handled them. Like I said, it's a whole different world now.

I have a strong faith, and that hasn't changed. I love God with all my heart and I don't question His ways. I miss Mom like crazy and long for the day when I'll see her again. But, in the mean time, I've got work to do here on earth. It's just that some days, it's easier to do that work than other days.

50 years

Tomorrow is my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Thornton and I will be driving up to Chicago for a dinner in their honor tomorrow night, spending the night and attending church with them Sunday morning. I wish I could say that I'm looking forward to going. I love my parents...really I do...but they are so difficult. Most couples that celebrate the amazing milestone of being married for 50 years share a love story that's worth retelling. My parents, well, not so much. I mean, I can't even begin to recount the number of times my dad threatened divorce to my mom while I was growing up. They used to fight all the time. It got to the point growing up where I almost wished they'd get a divorce rather than fight all the time. My stomach used to be in knots constantly when they'd start to fight. Ugh...I just hated it.

Now, I guess they are happy. It's hard to tell, because they're not the kind of people to say "I Love You" ever. But, they are together all the time, so they must at least enjoy each other's company. And, I'm glad for that.

I'm worried that they are going to expect me to give a speech of some sort tomorrow night. I mean, what do I say? I always have trouble finding a Mother's Day card or Father's Day card that isn't all mushy with phrases like "You've meant the world to me" or "I'm the person I am today because of you", because quite frankly, they ring a little untrue.

But, again, 50 years...that's a long time. And, I know that they are looking forward to the party very much. I hope it's a wonderful evening for everyone.

Rachel and Alison left today to drive to Virginia w/ my in-laws. Rachel is due at the Virginia School of the Arts on Sunday to begin her 3 week ballet intensive on Monday. She's so excited!! She's going to have a great time and will love spending so much time with other girls that share her passion. She'll be living in a dorm, which will be a fun experience, too. I'll miss her like crazy, but at least she'll have a phone, so I can talk to her daily. We'll meet up w/ my in-law's and Alison on Thursday in Indianapolis for another of Patrick's baseball tournaments.

Patrick is in St. Louis this weekend for a tourney. It's only 90 miles away, but because of other commitments, and having to head up north tomorrow, we're not able to go. I know he likes hanging out w/ his team mates at the hotel and being "on his own", but it just makes me realize all the more that we only have him at home for 3 more years.

Human piggy bank?

Last night we were all hanging out at church and Alison came to me and said that she had swallowed a quarter and she felt it stuck just above her stomach. I quickly took her to a friend of ours who is a nurse and was also at church and she said we better take Ali to the hospital because quarters are big and it might be trouble. Thornton and I just assumed that it would pass, but thought we better heed the instructions we were given, especially since Alison was having pain.

On the way to the hospital, she started having lots of pain and really freaking out. It was all I could do to keep driving while trying to calm her breathing down. We got to the ER and it was packed. Seriously, we were like the 7-8th person in line for ONE registrar. And, not a person in front of us appeared to have any visible problem or was in distress in any way. Alison was really in pain by now, but we waited. I just didn't know if I should create a scene or not and no body seemed to think she ought to have their spot in line. Once we finally saw the registrar, we got sent back to a room immediately.

Everyone was so nice to us, but, as we all know, nothing moves quickly in a hospital. We finally got her x-rayed and eventually found out that the coin was indeed stuck in her esophagus and wouldn't pass on it's own. Thornton arrived just as they were putting the IV in. I'm so glad he did, because Alison is a Daddy's girl through and through and she needed her daddy there. And, I needed him there, because I was trying not to let her see that I was crying too.

A Pediatric GI doctor was paged and we were told that she would need surgery to remove the coin under general anethesia. They put a scope down her throat and remove the coin w/ a tiny pair of tweezer like things. Thankfully they gave Alison some medicine to help relax her before they took her back for surgery. And, did it ever work!! She was loopy! She thought it was hysterical that everyone had four eyes, two noses and two mouths.

The surgery itself took less than 10 minutes. She woke up in recovery very slowly, but was fine to be taken home. We got home around 1:30 a.m. She's still sleeping this morning.

Oh, and in case you care....it was an Iowa Quarter. :-)

1 heart - 3 locations

My heart is split right now between three locations. Alison has been at camp since Sunday and will be there until Friday. I miss her like crazy, but from the letters we've received, she's having a blast. She's such a strong little thing....I never could've gone away for 2 weeks at a camp 5 1/2 hours away when I didn't know a soul. And she'll only turn 9 in a couple of weeks!

Patrick and Thornton are in Indianapolis at a baseball tournament w/ Patrick's team. They got in one game yesterday and won. Patrick pitched a 2 hitter! I'm so proud of him...especially because they are playing big-time teams in this tournament that have National ball playing experience. They got rained out last night and it's raining there now. So, who knows when I'll get them home.

Rachel is here at home w/ me, but she's had a friend over since 9 a.m. yesterday morning. They are still sleeping, of course! So, I was kind of lonely yesterday. I am so proud of my kids to be such strong, independent kids, because that's how we want them to be. But, as a mom, who has spent 15 1/2 years raising kids so far, it's hard to not be needed quite so much as time goes by.

Thank goodness for the puppy!

A good day for Ali

Yesterday, I was armed for a fight w/ Alison, and it never happened! She got off the bus in a great mood. I matter of factly told her that she would be riding along w/ me to drop Rachel off at dance, and then she and I would go to the mall, get some dinner, and buy a few gifts for parties Rachel is going to. She started to get upset, but I just ignored her. I actually even walked out of the room. She decided, I guess to just accept the plans. Then Thornton offered for her to go w/ him to The Hitting Center of a few hours, then to church. She gladly accepted that option. Later in the evening, she and Thornton stopped by to see his parents and she apologized to Grandma w/out us having to ask her to.

Tonight she is going to my in-law's lake house w/ Thornton's brother and his family for the entire weekend. I know I'll miss the little bugger while she's gone, but maybe some time away will be good for all of us.

The terrible 8's?

Alison has been a real pill lately. She is just so disagreeable. She will get something set in her head and if what she wants isn't realized, she'll throw a fit. It really is hard to be around her sometimes. Yesterday, Patrick had a double header and I was going to go to that with Rachel. I had to leave his game 1/2 way through to take Rach to dance. I gave Ali the option of coming w/ me (although we wouldn't be home 'til 9 or so), going to church w/ Thornton, which is usually what she does and enjoys, or going to Grandma's house for the evening. She said that she wanted to go to the game, but wanted to take Millie, our puppy, with her. Well, that just wasn't going to work, because we'd be gone so long, and Millie is a puppy. Alison just couldn't understand that and threw a fit. I explained to her that I had tried very hard to give her 3 good options for the evening and it was very frustrating to me to have her upset when I was trying to make her happy. She finally decided to choose to go to Grandma's house.

After about an hour, I got a call from Grandma saying that Alison was being unreasonable and asking what she should do. Apparently, Grandma was wanting to take Ali to dinner, since she didn't have food to eat in the house and Alison didn't want to go. And, yes, of course, she threw a fit. I had Grandma take her to Thornton at church. Ugh! It's so frustrating.

When I picked Ali up at church I tried talking to her about how I understood that sometimes she gets shuffled around due to Patrick's baseball and Rachel's dance schedules, but that we really did try hard to have good things for her to do. I told her that it is never appropriate for her to be so disagreeable to adults, especially her grandparents. I have no idea if I got through to her...I'm guessing not.

I wish I knew the answer for what would work w/ this kid.

Back to "normal"

Thornton's parents returned home from their 6 weeks in Florida on Sunday. We have been keeping their German Shepherd and cat while they were gone. We did settle into a nice routine w/ Woofie (their dog) and Millie (our puppy), but it wasn't always easy. Woofie is, well...he's a big dog. He was always in the way. We live in a split level house and his favorite sleeping spot was right inside the front door or at the top of the steps. Neither place was especially convenient because he was always in the way. But, God bless him, he put up w/ Millie like a champ, so I really have little to complain about. Millie was constantly in his face or nipping at his heels. Now that Woofie is back home, my in-laws report that he is depressed and misses his little friend. Awww....

We signed Alison up for a 2 week camp this summer. She'll be going to Kanakuk, a Christian sports camp in the Ozarks near Branson, MO. She'll love it. She so needs things to do and she often gets a bit lost in the shuffle w/ Patrick's baseball and Rach's dance. The camp is at the beginning of the summer, so that should start her summer off great!

My parents were down this weekend for a short visit and to see Rachel in her Junior High musical. My parents look so old lately. Granted, the *are* old (80 and 78), but wow, lately...it just seems to be that they age so much every time I see them. My parents are, and always have been, very critical people. Poor Patrick has his driving learner's permit and is really proud and excited to drive. But, my dad had to cut him down and tell him that he didn't stop properly at a stop sign. It wasn't constructive criticism, it was mean-spirited "I know best" criticism. I explained to Patrick that that's just how Grandpa is, but I could tell it hurt him.

I have been trying to eat healthier and lose weight since September. Since then, I have lost 65 pounds. The big joke has been that my parents haven't noticed yet! When I was heavier, you better believe that Mom would ask me every time she saw me if I'd lost any weight, but now that I have....nothing! At church on Sunday, someone came up to me to tell me how great I was looking. My mom was standing right there, and she finally said, "have you lost some weight?" All I said was, "yeah"....and she didn't persue the conversation any more. Too much!

I always tell Thornton that he's darn lucky that I'm half as normal as I am after growing up w/ my parents!

Driving!

Patrick got his Learner's Permit on Friday! What shocks me is that while he is in Driver's Ed in school right now, he had absolutely no experience behind the wheel before he got his permit. In fact, he is only taking the classroom portion of Driver's Ed right now and won't take behind-the-wheel until he's about ready to turn 16. In the meantime, they turn these kids loose w/ their parents to start getting their 50 hours of required time spent behind the wheel!

I'm sure some kids are nervous about driving and don't want to start out driving right off the bat. Not our kid! He has already logged close to 2 hours of driving just since Friday evening. He's actually doing quite well. I am really proud of him. He's even driving through a drive through already.

I'm just wondering when the novelty of driving will wear off. When I think of the amount of time I spend driving the kids to and from their activities, believe me, the last thing I get excited about is driving!

Those were the days

I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago. Here's the thing...there was no trauma, no wringing of hands. I'm totally OK w/ it. I know that my 40's are going to be amazing. I like the person who I am, and I know that the person I'm going to become (at least I hope I continue to evolve and grow) will be even better. I'm finally becoming comfortable in my skin.

Alison was changing for dance in the van the other day and she was sitting there essentially fully unclothed while she put her tights on. My child is not shy! Rachel looked at Alison and said, "I sure miss those days." I asked her what she meant and she said, "you know...the days when I was completely flat on top and could just change anywhere". Mind you, Rachel has the equivalent of a small A-cup!

A little shameless bragging now: Rachel auditioned for and got accepted to a 3 week summer ballet intensive in Lynchburg, Virginia! She auditioned kind of as a fluke and more for the experience than anything else. But, she got in!! So, now we have to deal w/ sending her away for 3 weeks, which she'll love and we'll dread. I'm so proud of her!

Patrick finished up baseball tryouts for the high school team yesterday. They post the list today, but we know he made it. He's hoping to get to play JV or potentially a few Varsity games this year (he's a freshman). The fact that there's still snow on the ground makes it a little hard to imagine playing ball anytime soon, but hope springs eternal that the days will soon start warming up.

Wow...it's been forever!

It's really been a long time since I've blogged. No reason, 'cept for life. But, life is good! The whole family, save for Alison, are completely, whole-heartedly ready for winter to be over. Alison, is, as I type, out sledding w/ her friend. Ahhh....to be young! Granted, I'd be out with her, too, if I wasn't so tired of being cold.

We have a new addition to our family. She's an adorable 12 week old shih tzu named Millie. We weren't planning on getting another dog after we got rid of Mia, our Husky, but we were blessed w/ the offer of a free puppy and it just seemed right. And, it is! She's a sweetie and has stolen all of our hearts. Potty training is going well, but I've forgotten what it's like to be so invested in someone else's bodily functions! Heck, Alison was potty trained 6 years ago...so it's been a while! I'll post a picture when I have more time.

I'll type more later...I promise...but I've got to run now.

Trying not to stress

I had a big time panic moment the other evening when I realized all I had to get accomplished this weekend. Here's the schedule:

Saturday: 10 - 12 All 3 kids have practice at church for Christmas show
12 - 3 Rachel has Nutcracker practice
3 - 6 Shop for hosting Fellowship hour at church tomorrow, buy Patrick's b-day cake, wrap his presents, make cheeseball for Fellowship hour
6 Patrick's birthday party

Sunday: 8:15 church
9:30 Host Fellowship hour
11:00 Sing for 3rd service
12 - 3 Rachel has Nutcracker practice
3 - 6 Get ready for Jr. high Christmas party that we're in charge of
6-8 Christmas party

Then, next week is tech week for The Nutcracker, so Rach and I will be out at the Auditorium every night. I'm on the sewing committee. She gets to dance two parts this year, so she's in both acts, so it'll be long evening. Next weekend is the show.

It's all stuff I love, but sometimes it occurs to me that I volunteer for way too much!

Off to wrap presents!

Whoa....it's been a long time!

Wow...I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd blogged. I *think* about blogging a lot, I just don't seem to get around to it.

Last weekend we gave our Husky, Mia, away. We've known for a while that we needed to do it, but we just kept putting it off. She needed somewhere to run where she'd have more room. She was able to get out of our fenced backyard and our neighborhood has a very strict leash law, so it just didn't work. Anyway, she's now living in Indiana and we think she's probably very happy.

Our cat, Ozzie, actually seems to miss Mia. For the first few days Ozzie walked around whining (more than his usual!). He kept going into the downstairs bathroom (where Mia's bed was) and whining. It was so sad. I bet he was thinking, "wait a minute....am I next?"

Last night we took the girls to a Contemporary Christian concert (Patrick got a better offer!). We saw Mandisa (of American Idol fame) and Matthew West. It was so amazing to see the girls jumping up and praising Jesus w/ reckless abandon. They love Jesus!

It's been a frustrating week w/ the business. I had a shipment of containers go missing on their way to me from the factory. The company wanted to wait it out in hopes that they would arrive. I understand their stand, because I've been in the same boat myself before. But, I needed those containers! They are arriving 1/2 tomorrow, 1/2 Tuesday (they finally resent), so I'm going to be crazy busy getting sale orders out. It makes me mad when I have no control over the situation!

I'm waiting for Thornton and the kids to get home from church tonight so we can go "Boo'ing". If you've not had the pleasure of Boo'ing someone, you're really missing out. The kids dress in all black and we have bags of candy made up, along w/ a poem and a ghost cutout. Here's what the poem says:

The air is cool the season fall
Soon Halloween will come to all
The spooks are after things to do
In fact, a spook brought this to you
“BOO” is a shield from witching hour
Just hang it up and watch its power
On your front door is where it works
It wards off spooks and scary jerks
The treats that came with crypted note
Are yours to keep, enjoy them both
The power comes when friends like you
Will copy this and make it TWO
Then others here among our friends
Will give warm fuzzies that do not end
We’ll all have smiles upon our faces
No one will know who “BOO”ed whose places
Just one short day to work your spell
Or a big ZAP will strike your tail
And don’t forget a nifty treat,
Like something cute or something sweet
Please join fun, let’s really hear it
And spread some “BOO”s and Halloween spirit.

It's fun because the kids really get into it. They commando crawl up to the front door, ring the bell, drop the bag and fly back to the van. It's hysterical to watch people come out and wonder why no one is there, then see the bag of candy. Such fun!

Homecoming

Last night was Patrick's first Homecoming dance. He went w/ a friend that he's known forever from church. They are always flirting w/ each other, but swear it's just a friendship. Either way, I'm fine w/ it, because we love Maggie! Patrick was so cute, because he was kind of nervous. He asked me what he was supposed to do with the corsage. He didn't know if he gave it to her right away or at dinner or what. What's funny is that Maggie is a junior, so she drives already, so she picked Patrick up. I think he was just happy to drive away and be on their own.

It was strange for me to have him out so late (they went to dinner first, then we took pictures, then the dance, then they went to Steak and Shake, so they didn't get home 'til 12:30 a.m.) and not be with someone's parents. It's a brave new world we're entering! Here are some pictures(including one of the whole group he went with)

Finally, here's a picture of Alison following her haircut cutting 12 inches off. She donated her hair to Locks of Love. She's such a cutie:

Word of the Day

Alison got off the bus yesterday and came bounding into the house and yelled, "Hi Mom, I'm abode!" I asked her to repeat what she said and she replied, "I'm abode. We're learning a new word everyday at school and today's word was abode, which means home". Could my daughter be any cuter?

Alison and Rachel both auditioned for the Springfield Ballet Company's Nutcracker. We knew Rach would get a part, since she's a Trainee w/ the company and has been in the Nutcracker for the last 2 years, but Alison was just old enough to audition and they don't take but a couple of 8 year olds. Well, Alison didn't get in. She handled it so well, though. She already knew that Rach didn't get in when she was 8, so I think that helped a bit. Rachel was cast as a flower. It's not the waltz of the flowers flower (that's for Company girls), but it's at the beginning of the 2nd act before everyone comes in prior to the variations. It's her first part on pointe!! She's so excited! It's pretty cool, because she's going to be dancing w/ some company members and she's the youngest one doing this part. We're so proud of her!

Patrick has been having some troubles in school. His grades are decent, but not what he is capable of doing. It's so frustrating.....I just don't know if he's working hard enough. I want him to realize how important school is.

Feeling like an adult

I've always had this problem with feeling like I'm an adult. I have no idea why that is, but I always feel like I'm not quite up to the same level as other adults. I don't mean that I'm immature or anything...it's kind of hard to explain....I just don't usually feel all that grown up. The past few days have changed that a bit. Thornton and I have had to step up to the plate to convince his Dad to have his mom hospitalized to figure out her medication situation. She is on way too many meds and, in our opinion, can take them innappropriately so that she is often very sedated during waking hours. It's been going on for a long time and I have felt it coming to a head lately. It had to stop and now it hopefully will. All of her medications have been stopped and they're starting over from scratch. We just got all of the medications out of the house. I kept telling Thornton that I hoped we were wrong in some of our accusations, but it doesn't appear that that is the case. She is going to have a difficult time coming up. It's going to be equally hard on my father in law, who recently retired and is now home to see what we've seen for far too long. And, it's hard on Thornton, who is angry at his mom for doing this to herself. I have to look forward to a positive end result. It may be a bumpy road getting there, though.

Labor Day Weekend

We had a great Labor Day weekend. My in-laws own a house on a private lake about an hour from here, so we all headed out there. My brother in law, his wife and two kids (ages 4 and 3) and my MIL/FIL were there too. Granted, all those people in one house can be a bit hectic sometimes, but really, it all went well. The kids all love to swim in the lake, so we spent a lot of time doing that. Rachel and Patrick are great game players, so we played a lot of Scrabble and a game called Quiddler (a card game similar to scrabble and very fun!). I didn't win anything! Nothing. In fact, in one game of Scrabble, I didn't even break 100. I got whipped by my 11 year old. I guess I should feel proud that she's such a smartie, but seriously....I was pathetic. I got a nap in every day, which was sublime.

Now, we're back to the grind. School is back in full force. Dance has started back up. Rachel dances 11 hours a week now! Alison's taking a class too, so I will now be spending my evenings driving back and forth to town. I know I'll miss it when they're grown, so I won't complain.

Both girls are trying out for The Nutcracker a week from Sunday. Rachel has been in the last two productions, and since she's a Trainee w/ the Ballet Company, we feel pretty secure that she'll get a part. She'd love to be a Party Girl in the opening scene, but we'll just have to see. Alison is finally old enough to audition....you have to be at least 8. But, I've tried to ready her that there are a lot of little girls that audition and very few make it. Rachel didn't make it her first year auditioning. Alison tells us that she understands and won't be sad, but I'm not sure I believe her. I see this glint in her eye that thinks she can do anything. Good for her...but I would rather not have to deal w/ the fallout if she doesn't make it. Maybe I should just be as confident as she is, eh?

Being a parent

Sometimes being a parent just sucks. (I hate the word "sucks" and I don't let my kids use it...but after I typed "stinks" it just didn't seem to capture the mood...LOL!). Tonight I am going to have to tell Patrick that he can't do something that he wants to do and I can't really explain to him completely our reasons for making the decision. I know he's going to be mad, but there's nothing I can do about that. He has to realize that we have his best interest at heart and wouldn't do something to purposefully hurt him. It's a complicated situation and he's somewhat in the middle of it, which is exactly where we don't want him.

And besides, he'll now get to spend the entire weekend with us, his grandparents, his uncle, aunt and his cousins at the lake house. What could be more fun than that? Note to self....I've got to figure out a way of securing the little cabin for Thornton and me to sleep in so we don't have to be in the main house w/ all the noise!

When big boys cry...

Patrick was really upset about something last night....to the point of tears...lot of them. I know what he's upset about (and I am not going to discuss details here), but I couldn't get him to talk about specifics of his hurting. He promised me that he would talk with me tonight...that he just wanted to go to bed last night. Thornton and I have both already talked with him about this issue and we know that while it might seem like a big deal now, he will move on and grow from the situation in time. But, to a 14 year old boy, I'm sure it sounds a bit hollow. So, I just held him and let him cry....and thanked God that my big boy still comes to his Mommy when he's sad.

Mixed feelings

The kids started school last Friday. I'm really having a hard time not having them at home during the day any more. I've never felt like this before. Usually I'm ready to kick them to the curb once school starts. Maybe it's that they're older and *easier*? Who knows.

Patrick did just fine on his first day of high school. Of course, it helps that he has a Senior girl who picks him up every morning and drives him to school. Yesterday, after his first full day of classes, he already had an hour of History homework. I am glad that he wanted to take honors history and language arts....I hope he'll not get too burned out!

Rachel also did fine on her first day of Junior High (technically...it's Middle School). It was her first time dealing w/ switching classes every hour and having a locker. She had no problems and seemed very confident. The only snag was that she "lost" the bag that had her gym shorts and t-shirt in it. She was pretty worried about it, but thankfully it was found and she had it for her first full day yesterday.

Alison's third grade teacher seems very nice. I was a little concerned to realize that she is pregnant. Alison does best w/ consistency and obviously there will be a long term sub in her class at some point. She was very proud to present me with her agenda after school yesterday. She's seen Patrick and Rachel have agendas, so she was pleased that she was finally old enough to have one.

Am I crazy that I'm already looking forward to Labor Day, so I get a long weekend w/ the kids?

Perseverence

Last night Patrick and Thornton went to the St. Louis Cardinal game. They were especially lucky because at last night's game, Rick Ankiel, a former pitcher for the Cards returned to the line-up....as an outfielder. And, he hit a home run! 7 years ago, he was 20 years old and pitching in the playoffs for the Cards. Out of nowhere, he couldn't find the strike zone. He threw 5 wild pitches in one inning and 8 overall in the game. He wasn't the same pitcher again. He had no control. The Cardinal organization didn't want to give up on him and tried at first to get him back as a pitcher. When that failed, they decided that he was a good enough athlete, that they would try to turn him into an outfielder. This guy has worked for 7 years to get back in the majors and last night, on his first game back, he hit a home run (and struck out twice...but hey...who cares?). Thornton said that the crowd went just crazy! What an amazing lesson for anybody. The Cardinal organization should be commended for sticking w/ this guy and not just cutting their losses and running. And Rick Ankiel, well, it goes w/out saying, that he should be more than proud of himself.

A little bit ago, I heard talking coming from Alison's room. I knew that Rachel had already left for dance, so I was a little confused. I didn't figure Patrick was up already, so I went in to investigate. She was lying in bed, reading aloud to herself. It was so sweet....and I was greatly relieved that she wasn't talking to herself...

Registration and other stuff

Got all the kids registered for school today. Everything went smoothly, 'cept for all the money that was spent, of course! I know that public school is way cheaper than private school, but when you're registering 3 kids at once, it sure does add up.

Patrick and Rachel will be starting at new schools. Patrick will be a freshman in H.S., but he seems pretty secure in finding his way around the school already. I was pleased that he signed up for Key Club during registration. It's a national service organization. I had mentioned to him that I thought it was a good idea to get involved in clubs and things other than just sports, and this was a great choice.

Rachel will be starting Middle School, so she'll have her first experience with having a locker, switching classes each hour and dressing for P.E. Patrick is going to help her walk her schedule in a little bit when I go to volunteer at registration. She doesn't seem nervous at all, but we'll see how it goes when she gets a little closer to the time.

Alison is in her last year of Elementary School. She said this morning, "I sure am going to miss that school next year!" She and me both! It appears that she has a new teacher this year, but there's a chance that it was a teacher who got married over the summer and has a different name this year. I've been praying for a good teacher for her, so we'll have to wait and see.

Rachel is in her 2nd week of the ballet intensives (out of 3 weeks), so she's been dancing from 9 - noon every day. Last week she thought the ballet instructor was too easy, so she was happy that this week's was harder. And, she reports that she "LOVES" the jazz instructor.

Musical Diversion

Nothing gets you out of a bad mood better than a good musical (well, there *are* other things...). Last night I was in a bad mood and had the biggest sinus headache. My in-laws called to see if I wanted to go w/ them to see "Hairspray". I didn't really want to go...I wanted to wallow. But, a voice deep inside me said to go, and I'm so glad I listened. It was a very fun-loving and joyful movie. I never could get past the fact that the mom was John Travolta in drag...despite that critics say that you will. In fact, I thought he was the weakest link in the movie. The dancing was phenomenal. But...is it wrong for a 39 year old woman to have a crush on a 19 year old guy? Zac Ephron is yummy....'nuff said. I'm counting down the days to High School Musical II, along with Rach and Ali...LOL!

Some days...

...it just doesn't seem all that fun to be a small business owner.

The last thing I need

Ugh...I just checked my paypal account and noticed 2 unauthorized charges made using my Paypal debit card. I spent all morning on the phone and think I've got it all figured out, card cancelled, etc. But, it'll be a while before the money gets back in my account. And, I need that money! I've got to turn my mood around and not let this bog me down.

Update-a-thon

Yeah, it's been a long time since my last post. Gone are the days when summer was a time to relax and the pace was slower than during the school year. This summer seems to have disappeared before my eyes and I'm not ready to send these kids o' mine back to school in three weeks. But, alas, that's the case...and the next 3 weeks are busy as usual.

Patrick is home from our church's Mission Trip to Lewes, DE. He got home last night at midnight. He worked fixing up homes of underprivledged people. Sounds like he had a great time...but I'll know more when he wakes up from his impromptu nap and we can actually have a chance to talk. He's going to a program called Freshman Advantage at the high school starting tomorrow. It's designed to help incoming freshmen adjust to high school life. I think he's actually looking forward to it....although it could be that he's just looking forward to seeing friends.

Rachel will spend the next three weeks in a ballet intensive workshop for 3 hours every morning. The ballet company that she's a trainee with holds these workshops every summer and bring in instructors from all over the country. It's a really awesome experience for the kids to grow their technique and learn from renowned teachers.

Alison is going to go to a new program at the elementary school called JumpStart which is kind of like the program Patrick is going to, except it is aimed at kids that didn't qualify or need to go to Summer School, but could probably use a little extra help getting back into the school mode. She seems excited with it...although she won't want to get up in the morning. I bought her a 3rd grade math workbook at the store yesterday and she immediately sat down to work on it, so that's encouraging. I've been praying all summer for a good teacher for her in 3rd grade. We didn't care for her 2nd grade teacher all that much and I really want a good match for her this year.

We have decided that we need to try to find a good home for our Siberian Husky, Mia. She is an amazing dog, but she really needs to live somewhere where she can have more room to run. If we accidently leave the door open or answer the door and don't watch carefully, she'll bolt out and just run and run and run. Our town has a strict leash law and we've been fined several times already. So, I placed an ad on petfinder.com about her. Thankfully I had read on their forum to beware of scammers, so I didn't fall for the inquiries about her from far and wide that are written in broken English requesting to know how much we want for her. Apparently, the scam goes that they then send a "Cashier's Check" to you for more than the amount, tell you to deposit it, and send them back the difference. Obviously, the check bounces (assumably after you've sent them the money) and you're out the money/fees. I am savvy enough not to fall for such a scheme anyway, but it breaks my heart that people are feeding off of people in such a disgusting way.

Yesterday I came downstairs and Thornton said, "Are you cooking something?" I told him that I wasn't, but that I'd made some tarts, so maybe that was what he was smelling. He said, "Oh, something just smelled really bad". I thought to myself....nice...if something smells bad, he thinks I'm cooking? But, then, he capped it off with, "Oh, never mind...I think Mia just farted." I told him that I forgot, and that I really was cooking farts and that dinner was ready! Seriously...I wasn't sure just how offended I should be....LOL!

I'm not meant to be single

Thornton and Patrick have been down in St. Louis since yesterday (Wed.) morning. They won't get back 'til Friday night. I can't stand not having Thornton around. Of course, when he's here, he drives me nuts, but that's normal, right? We probably talked on the phone 8 times yesterday. Granted, 4 of those were during Patrick's baseball game to get updates (I probably hate not being at his game just as much as I hate not having them home, but it just isn't possible to be down there all week).

But, the girls and I will survive. Maybe after their dance classes tonight, we'll do something girly. Whatever that means...LOL!

World Series

Patrick's baseball team is playing in a 14U World Series in St. Louis this week. They started play on Sunday and continue play through Saturday. Sure...this is a great experience for him. But, fact of the matter is, all I can see are the dollar signs associated w/ it. Most of the team are actually staying in a hotel for the whole week. We....are not. We live in a fairly well off community. But, let's face it...our family is not well off. Thornton works for our church and I own Cleanse Your Soul. We do OK...our children always have clothes on their back and we live in a nice house. But extras...well, those are few and far between. And, I'm OK w/ that. I don't need the kids to have every whim their heart desires. Thornton and Patrick will be staying w/ a cousin in St. Louis for the rest of the week. Hopefully, they will be eating cheaply. Other than that...I just need to get over my disdain of the money that gets thrown around so casually, as if everyone can afford what most can, and realize that this is an experience of a lifetime for Patrick.

Next week he leaves on a church Mission Trip. Yup...that's crazy expensive too. But, that experience has the power to change his life and mold his young Christian mind in such a positive way, that I'd gladly shell out the money.

It might be a difficult year...

...for little Alison. Patrick will be a freshman in high school and Rachel will be in 6th grade (so, Middle School). At church the high schooler and junior highers do a lot of fun activities together. Today, both Patch and Rach are at Six Flags in St. Louis. Now, if I were an adorable little 8 year old, I'd be angry that I didn't get to go. But, Alison handled it really well. She hasn't complained once today (well, not about that, at least! She did complain royally when I told her it was time to go to dance and she deemed herself too tired to go, despite having spent the whole afternoon at a friend's house...but that's another story!).

My brother is two years older than me and I well remember always being "too little" to do the things he did. Believe me...it made me mad! So, I think Thornton and I will have to have some special time set aside for just Alison when Patrick and Rachel are off doing their fun activities.

Only I....

Only I could get an injury painting pottery! I took the girls to one of those places where you paint pottery and then they fire it in the kiln for you and you get the finished piece in a week or so. I was painting this intricate coaster...it had lost of tiny little parts that needed to be painted. Well, I must've had my neck cricked in a certain way, because by the end of the night, it started hurting me, but when I woke up this morning, I was in big time pain. It's much better now, but I think it's hysterical that I pulled a muscle painting pottery.

The pottery (I keep typing potty...LOL...) painting thing was part of a church group, so we were with a bunch of people last night. It was so interesting to see how different people tackle creative projects. Some people were the dive right in kind of painters. They picked their project immediately, had no trouble picking colors and just started painting away. I fall into this category, as did both my girls. Alison must've used every painting technique and color available on her piece. Can't wait to see how the finished project turns out. Other people had a very difficult time choosing what they wanted to do and then were almost afraid to choose colors, for fear of making a mistake. But, really...you couldn't make a mistake. One person had such a hard time, that she ended up painting her pottery piece using a sample piece as her guide. She did it exactly the same, using the same colors and everything. I commented to her that it was funny how children just dive right into project, whereas adults seemed to have a harder time. She said that she was exactly the same as she is now as a child, so that blew my theory.

We had a great evening, but next time I think I'll take some Tylenol first!

I'm tired!

Patrick's team played in the State baseball tournament this past weekend. The games were played up in Bourbannais, IL, which is 2 1/2 hours from our house. They played two games Saturday (won 1 , lost 1) and then had to wait around to see when they would play on Sunday. We had to leave to get back home for church on Sunday, so Patrick stayed up there w/ a teammate's family in a hotel. He called Saturday night around 9 and told us that they didn't play until Sunday night at 8 p.m.! ACK! He could've come back down w/ us, if we'd known. Thornton and I weren't going to go up for the Sunday p.m. game because it was single elimination, so if they lost, we'd have to come right back home, but if they won, we'd have to find a hotel for the night. We figured it would be easier to wait and see if they won or lost and then go up on Monday if need be. But, when Patrick called, he said, "And it's great...because it's so late, you and Dad can come!" Yeah...what were we to say to that? So we left the girls w/ Thornton's parents and headed up for his game. We got there at 7:45 and the game before them had just started. Patrick's game didn't even start 'til after 9:30 p.m. After 6 innings, the score was tied and the time limit had expired. So then they do this tie breaker thing where they start a runner out on 2nd, there's one out automatically and each batter has a count of one ball and one strike. Obviously, this is meant to speed up the end of the game. The two teams battled back and forth and Patrick's team finally ended up losing the game in the 3rd extra inning. What a disappointment! By this time, it was after midnight. We didn't get home 'til after 3 a.m.

Now...here's the kicker....we travelled all that way to the game and ended up playing a team from Springfield, which is 15 minutes away! How frustrating is that??

Alison's story

I don't think I've ever blogged about when I was pregnant with Alison. At our 16 week ultrasound, the tech noticed that her head was considerable smaller than it should be. Apparently, this can be a sign of chromosomal abnormalities. We were sent to a specialist who did a more detailed ultrasound, plus an amniocentesis. We knew that no matter what, we were keeping the baby, but we wanted to know what we were dealing with. The ultrasound revealed that not only was the head size way too small, there was also a thickened portion at the base of the skull, which was another sign that this baby might have chromosomal problems.

We had to wait 2 weeks for the amnio results to come back. During this time, we shared our story with everyone and asked them to pray. I know we were surrounded by prayers because I wasn't hysterical with worry like I normally would have been. When the results came back, it showed that there were no chromosomal problems! We were over joyed, but the doctors were still concerned because there had to be a reason her head was so small.

I had ultrasounds every two weeks to monitor her growth and each test continued to show the head size was too small. At approximately 32 weeks, following another ultrasound, my doctor walked into the exam room with a strange look on her face. She said, "Judy, I don't know how to explain this, because I've never seen anything like this before. But, the baby's head size is normal now". I started to cry, but then I explained to her that I knew that God had healed the baby in utero. Our prayers had been answered!

We had been having a hard time deciding on a name for the baby. We had a few names we liked, but couldn't decided for sure on anything. Thornton and I had always wanted to name one of our children "Alison" after his sister who had committed suicide in 1987. But we just weren't sure if his parents would be OK with that. We didn't want any bad memories to come back to them. After we found out that the baby's head was normal sized, my father in law called me. I could tell that his voice was a bit choked back. He said to me, "Mom and I were wondering if you might consider naming this baby Alison". I started bawling. Of course, that's what we had to name her. Her middle name is "Grace", because she is a physical representation of God's grace in our lives.

8 years ago yesterday, Alison came into the world w/ a bang. I was scheduled for a C-section on Monday, June 28th. Friday night at 10:30, my water broke and my placenta had abrupted, so I was bleeding heavily. Thornton rushed me to the hospital and Alison was born by C-section at 11:58 p.m. She is Thornton's child through and through. She is *just* like him and she adores her Daddy like no other little girl has. We got her name right!

16 years

Today is Thornton and my 16th anniversary. What's funny is about a month ago, we had a discussion because neither of us could remember how many years we'd been married. He thought it was 17, but I was pretty sure it was 16. I was right...LOL (as always!).

Thornton and I met at Blackburn College in Carlinville, IL. My freshmen year at school, he was sitting out a year (he'd ummm....been "asked" to leave by the administration for poor grades...LOL). Even though he wasn't enrolled in school, he came down to the campus from his home an hour away and sang w/ the choir. He went on the choir tour that Spring, too. I remember thinking, "hmmm....this is guy is a bit pompous", because he would come down and act like he owned the place during choir rehearsals.

Despite the fact that I didn't have a good impression of him, I was oddly excited when I realized that he was going to be returning to school the next year. We both sang in the choir and in Madrigals and got to know each other during my sophomore year (his "second" sophomore year!). By the end of 1st semester, I knew that he was someone I really liked. After Christmas break, I arranged for a friend to invite both him and I to her birthday party. She did...and after the party, we spent the night cuddling in his dorm's parlor. We started officially dating on January 25, 1988 and have been together ever since.

Being with Thornton has really allowed me to grow as a person. I used to be very shy and unsure of myself. He was what I referred to as "the golden boy" in college. Everyone knew and loved Thornton. I decided that I could either spend my life in his shadow, or I could become an interesting, outgoing person in my own right.

I love you, honey!

1 child, 1 hubby home

Alison and Thornton returned from camp today. They were at a church "first timer's camp". Thornton has been helping out as a counselor for the past 5 years or so, but this was Alison's first camp experience.

While she was gone, I completely redid her bedroom. Poor child was still sleeping in a room w/ BOY soccer player border all over the walls. It was so not a pretty little girls room. Now it is! I'll have to take pictures once the camera gets back from camp. 3 of the walls are a deep raspberry pink, the other wall is covered in 2 layers of batting, and covered w/ pale pink fabric. We had bought a bedding and curtain set from someone at church last year, and it has beautiful flowers all over it. Her bed is now surrounded w/ tulle netting. When she got home, she went to put her stuff in her room. She walked in and said, "MOM!!". Then the dog walked into her room and she said, "Mia is not allowed in my room anymore". I'll be honest, considering the hard work I've put in over the past 2 days (dark pink requires 3 coats of paint!), it wasn't exactly the huge reaction I was expecting or hoping for, but I know she appreciates it.

Poor Alison is exhausted. I wonder if she slept at all while she was away. I did hear that she was a bit too talkative the first night. I haven't really gotten too much information out of her about camp, but I'm thinking I will when she's less tired.

Thornton, of course, is exhausted. He said that although camp was only 3 days, it seemed much longer this year. Could be because the temps were in the 90's the whole time. Hot temperatures sure can sap your energy.

I just read that Ruth Graham is in a coma and nearing the end of her life. Ruth is Billy Graham's wife. I'm a huge Billy Graham fan. Last summer, I had the privilege of hearing their daughter, Ann Graham Lotz, speak at a conference in Montreat, N.C., where the Graham family home is. Ruth was ill at the time, but managed to come to one of the sessions. Billy has been having lots of health issues, too, so it makes me sad to think that he will go home to heaven likely soon too. Granted, there's no better place to be than heaven, so I shouldn't feel too bad!

Wings

One of my favorite songs lately is by Mark Harris (Christian Artist) called "Find Your Wings". Here are the words:

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold.
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

Chorus:

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

This song has been running a constant cycle through my head the past few weeks. Rachel went on vacation w/ my in-laws for 11 days. She went w/ them first to Princeton, NJ for my FIL's 50th college reunion, then into NYC for 4 days. She got to experience so much, including her first 2 Broadway shows (The Fantasticks and Wicked), the Statue of Liberty, many museums, Times Square and so on. She's 11 and she soaked up every minute of her time. My MIL said that she was so impressed with Rach in the museums, because she wanted to see it all...and practically did. As her mom, I reveled in the fact that she was getting to experience something that we couldn't necessarily offer her....'cause we just can't afford trips like that. But, it was hard to have her gone so long.

She came home Friday night, and she and I immediately headed down to St. Louis to meet up with Thornton, Alison and Patrick for Patrick's baseball tournament. We were all together on Saturday in St. L and then all of us but Patrick had to come back for Church today. Patrick's baseball team played 3 more games today before losing in the semi-finals. In the 2nd game, Patrick was pitching and got hit in the ankle w/ a ball. He called saying that he had to be pulled from the game and that he had trouble putting weight on it. I wanted to scoop him up in my arms and let him know that it'd be OK...but I couldn't. First of all....he wasn't w/ me. Second of all...he's 14 and 5'11. He's on his way home now, and I know he's OK, but somehow the feelings of the day are making me dread him leaving home in 4 short years for college. How can I let him go?

Which leads me to my real point: Tomorrow, all 3 of our kids leave for camp. Rachel and Patrick will be gone through Saturday. Alison will be gone only until Wednesday afternoon....and Thornton is going to be one of her camp counselors. I actually calculated this day out when Patrick first left for camp when he was how old Alison is now. I knew that the year he had finished 8th grade, Alison would be old enough to first go to camp. I looked forward to having no kids at home....and now....I don't want it to happen! Somehow, we've managed to raise confident, adventure hungry kids who have no problem leaving us for short periods of time. I know that's a good thing....we've given them wings...and now they are going to fly. And, Saturday night, when I have them all back under my roof again, I will rejoice!

Proud day

Today Patrick was confirmed at church. While being confirmed is something that almost all 8th graders do at our church, I pray that his decision to join the church is not one that he takes lightly. He is such an amazing kid and I know his future will be bright. God has blessed him with many talents and that's not something to take for granted.

Then....in his baseball game this afternoon, he hit a home run!

Best intentions

I seriously have the best intentions when it comes to updating my blog. I even think of things I can type about each day. And, then...well, then I don't. Simple as that. I run out of time in the day and updating gets pushed to another day. Then I realize it's been a week or more since I've posted last.

It's a busy weekend for us. Patrick is being confirmed at church on Sunday. My parents are due here any minute now. So, that means I'm stressed. I wish they didn't have that effect on me, but they do. Patrick's baseball team is also playing in a tournament here in town. They play tonight at 8 and it's gonna be COLD! A friend of ours was playing last night at 6 and we went out there for the game. Oh man...it was freezing. Strange weather! Patrick is pitching, but I don't know if my parents will brave the late time and the cold. I'll tell you what, when I have a grandson, wild horses won't keep me away from his activities!

I just got done cleaning the house (you know...to pass inspection by my mother, the perpetual housecleaner). I should've counted all the bobby pins I found lying around. Rachel has to wear her hair in a bun for dance. But, when she gets home, she just takes her hair down wherever she is and bobby pins are everywhere. Going to have to have a talk w/ that child!

I'm going to get tough w/ the kids this summer. They've always had a few chores that they help with, but it's time they do more around the house. We'll be making up a list of jobs that need to be accomplished before they can do anything else this summer.

Wish me luck over the next few days....

The week in review

Well, Patrick's baseball team won their tournament last weekend in Champaign. They won all 5 games they played. It was a beautiful weekend, too...so that was a bonus. It's funny the difference between when these boys were 10 and won a tournament and now. Just 4 short years ago, they wanted their pictures taken and their trophy would be proudly displayed in their room. Now, at 14 years old, it was like pulling teeth to get them to pose for a group picture. Patrick's trophy is still in the car! Not that it's not still exciting to win, but I guess they don't need the "stuff" that goes along w/ it.

Rachel auditions for the Trainee Academy for the Springfield Ballet Company. She's pretty confident she'll make it again this year, but realizes that anything can happen, so she's got to perform her best.

Thornton is taking all 3 kids to the St. Louis Cardinal game tomorrow. A day at home alone will be nice!

Road trip

We'll be heading out this afternoon for our first overnight baseball trip of the season. Patrick has a tournament in Champaign (an hour and a half from here). They play at 8 in the morning, so we'll be staying overnight tonight. They also play tomorrow at 2 and Sunday at 10. We have to come back for Church on Sunday morning, so I think Patrick will stay w/ a teammate Saturday night. Then, if they place first or second in their pool, they'll play Sunday at noon. If they win that, the championship is Sunday at 2. We'll drive back over to see him play on Sunday (if they advance). This is the first tournament with his new team, so we just have no idea how they'll do. He's the starting pitcher tomorrow morning, so he'll have to get to bed early.

She said what??

Last night Rachel and Alison were having a big time blow-up at bed time. They were yelling at each other and slamming doors. First Rachel would come upstairs and tell me what Alison had done to her, then Ali would come up, and so on. Finally, I thought I had gotten them settled, when Alison came up. She was crying and said that Rachel had called her the "C word". Honestly, I couldn't figure out what the heck the C word was (well, I know one C word, but I know Rachel doesn't know that....). Alison didn't want to tell me what it was, because it was a bad word. She finally spelled it for me. C - R - A - P.

I remember when I was in 2nd grade and someone sticking out their tongue at me was the biggest sin ever. Ahh....those were the days.

What do you say?

The kids have caught me tearful the past few days while watching coverage of the shootings at Virginia Tech. How do you explain to a child the fear a parent feels when they have to send their child out into the world every day and trust God that they will return safely to you? I do have great faith in God, but evil exists and my heart hurts to think of the pain others are feeling right now.

This week is busy for us. Rachel is in Sleeping Beauty with the Springfield Ballet Company and this is tech week. So, she and I will be out at the Auditorium every night. I'm working on the costumes, which I really enjoy. Alison was with us last night and was entranced w/ watching the girls dance. Her dance teacher is the Ballet Mistress w/ the company and Alison just walked herself right up on stage and plopped herself down next to Gina. Her ballsy-ness cracks me up (and somewhat unnerves Rachel...who would never do something like that).

Note to self....

Don't ever slip and tell your 7 year old that you think her P.E. teacher is cute. And, if you do so, don't let your 11 year old tell your 7 year old that her mommy secretly called Coach Hyde "Coach Hottie". 7 year old will laugh herself silly and threaten to tell Daddy (who already knows, by the way!)

On another note....we got home from Easter Dinner on Sunday and found a pice of paper stuck to our door. It was addressed to Alison and said "I hate you! You are a baby and a poop ball. I really hate you and nobody cares about you". I knew immediately who'd written it. Alison has a "friend" who is a year older than her that lives nearby. We have limited Alison's interaction w/ this girl before. Another friend of Alison's just came over to give Ali a gift card, because Ali gave her her old bike and I asked her if she knew anything about the note. She got teary eyed and said that she was w/ the other girl when she did it and she didn't want to do it. I totally believe her. So, now, obviously Alison will not play at all w/ the older girl. I am debating talking to the girl's mom. I know I should, but somehow I doubt it'll make a difference.

My worlds collide

Last night I was sitting in the sun room working on sewing trim onto a tutu that will be used during the ballet Sleeping Beauty. I was watching Cardinals baseball on TV at the time. It dawned on me that these two activities - baseball and ballet - have become a big part of my life.

Granted, baseball always has been in my life. I grew up a tomboy and could tell you about anything you'd ever want to know about the game of baseball. I will always love the game. The fact that Patrick is a baseball player now means that we spend many, many days at the ball diamond.

Ballet was not something that I was interested in as a kid. It was kind of the opposite of who I was, to be honest. But, Rachel was born dancing. She started dance lessons the day she turned 3 and has been dancing ever since. I now spend time shuttling her to and from dance and ballet company rehearsals. Since we live 20 minutes from town, it doesn't always make sense to go home while she is in rehearsal, so I watch. And, I've fallen in love w/ the beauty of ballet.

So, working on a tutu while watching baseball is a perfect combination to me!

Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards

Alison and I are watching the Kids Choice Awards. These are awards that are voted on by kids. I'm wondering what age kids are voting. The award that was just given was for favorite music group. The nominees were Black Eyed Peas, Nickleback, Red Hot Chile Peppers and someone else. Ummm...my 7 and 11 year olds have no idea who these groups are. Are kids really listening to these groups? I know, it's not like it's gangsta rap or something, but I just don't understand letting kids grow up so fast. Justin Timberlake is hosting the Kids Choice Awards. Heaven help me, if he starts singing "I'm bringing sexy back", we are changing the channel and FAST!

Deadliest Catch

I've recently started watching reruns of this show on Discovery. It's about crab fishing in the Bering Sea. Doesn't sound like anything that'd be all that interesting, but somehow, I've become mesmerized by the show. It's the most dangerous job on earth w/ extensive injuries and death each season of fishing. New shows start on Tuesday (which, of course, I won't be able to watch!), but I hope to catch them in reruns also. What's funny is that I've flipped past this show at least a hundred times, sure that I wouldn't enjoy watching it. Turns out I was wrong!

In a funk today

I have no idea what's going on today, because I'm usually a really cheerful person. But, today, I'm in a funk. I gotta snap out of it, because I don't like it.

Update

Our family had an awesome vacation to Florida. The weather was nice, although not ultra-warm. We did get in 2 days at the beach, which were just perfect. Since we were there earlier than usual, it wasn't Spring Break yet, so the beach wasn't nearly as crowded. Here are some pictures:

What I love

This is what I love about being a mom:

I worked full-time away from the home until about a year and a half ago. I am still reveling in the fact that I am now home when they get off the bus in the afternoon. The other day Alison came in the front door giggling away. I asked her why she was in such a good mood and she said, every excitedly, "I got moved to the back of the bus!!". I asked her why that was so exciting and she said, "Because it's bumpy back there and it feels like you're getting a foot massage the whole way home!" Now really, does it get any better than that??

Yesterday, Rachel wasn't having a good day. She was tired and she was frustrated because she had to finish a school project and it wasn't going as well as she would've liked. They had dissected owl pellets in class and her pellet didn't have enough bones from a rodent to make the skeleton of a whole animal. They need to make posters w/ the bones. She and I had some words on the way home from ballet because she wanted to put off working on it and I didn't think that was a good idea. So, when we got home, she did finish the poster. I was lying down on my bed for a few minutes resting and she came in. I could tell she was still upset. I asked her to lie w/ me for and talk. She just started crying. I told her that I remembered what it felt like to be her age and needing to cry, sometimes for no reason at all. Then she just laid there and cried (well, yeah...we both were crying....). When she got up a few minutes later, she seemed better. And, that made me happy.

Last night Patrick came home from his Confirmation class at church and was really excited about what he had learned. He was asking me my opinion on some things and we just had a nice conversation. In the middle of our talk, his cell phone rang. He could tell by the caller i.d. that it
was his girlfriend. He said, "I'll just call her back later. I want to finish talking with you." How sweet it that? Of course, I told him to go ahead and talk with his girlfriend and I'd be waiting for him when he was done. He's growing into such a cool young man.

Old and Crumbly

Yesterday was my 39th birthday. Several years ago an online friend of mine dubbed me "old and crumbly", as I was the oldest person in a mom and friends group. So, I shudder to think what she thinks of me now that I'm a year away from 40! Comments, Jamie??

I'm probably one of the strange ones, though. I like getting older. Granted, I don't see myself as an almost 40 year old. I still think of myself as being about 26. I don't even feel like an adult some days. It's not that I'm immature...it's just that I don't feel my age, I guess.

Patrick has had a very busy weekend. I knew the day was coming when my children would have better social lives than I, and it appears that those days are here. Saturday, he had lunch out w/ my father in law. Then he went on a group date w/ his girl friend (first one EVER). Sunday, he went out to another movie and dinner w/ a family friend. Today, he's in St. Louis w/ another friend. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home and working! Something's wrong...very wrong w/ this picture!

This is my morning

We always have trouble getting the kids out the door in a timely manner. It doesn't matter what time we get them up, they seem to fill the time and we end up rushing them out the door. So, this morning, I come into the dining room where the girls are eating their cereal. I notice they are playing Yahtzee while eating. Here's the conversation:

Me: Are you guys playing Yahtzee while eating? Alison, you don't even have your shoes on. Rachel, you need to brush your hair.

Rachel: We're not playing Yahtzee.

Alison: Nope, we're not.

Me: Good, because we have to leave in 5 minutes to get you to school in time

Alison: Rachel, your turn...roll the dice!

When exactly did I lose control?? I know...Dec. 2, 1992, the day Patrick was born, right?

The post office lies

Perhaps it's just a myth, but I thought that the post office was supposed to deliver through rain or snow, sleet or hail...something like that. Ummm...so not true! Sure, we had 14 inches of snow. Sure the wind was blowing so hard yesterday that it was coming down sideways. And, no, the post office did not deliver. Yesterday or today. So, I thought that I'd be nice to my mailman...he does a lot for me, and I brought all my packages to be mailed into the post office here in town. Huh?? They were closed too! Now, it's true that I live in a tiny podunk town that probably only employs 3 people, but come on! So, sorry to those people who are expecting orders that should've been mailed Tuesday...they won't go out 'til tomorrow. At least I hope they go out tomorrow! If not...they'll have a very angry small businesswoman on their hands.

Finding Nemo

The kids are home from school today because of the blizzard (yes, snow blowing sideways...it's a blizzard!). The girls are watching Finding Nemo and I had forgotten what an hysterical movie this is. I have literally been laughing out loud throughout the whole movie. There is no better character than Dory anywhere in the movies...seriously!

She's at it again!

Last year Rachel raised money for the American Heart Association in the Jump-rope-athon. This year she has decided to take part by shooting hoops to raise money for them. In case you're interested in helping her out, here's the link to her donation page:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=201512&lis=0&kntae201512=95E11CCB3D2E4E57A2E4399469A7C6A8&supId=164301585

Baptism

Thornton and I decided when the kids were born that we would wait to have them baptized when they felt they were ready and they understood what it really meant to be baptized into the Christian church. We belong to a Presbyterian church and they typically baptize infants, and Thornton and I were both baptized as infants. But, we just didn't feel like that was what we wanted for our children. Yesterday, Patrick and Rachel were both baptized. It was so emotional for us to see our children profess their faith in front of the congregation. They each wrote Statement of Faith and read them before their baptisms. I saw many teary eyes in the congregation (through my own tear brimmed eyes, of course). These kids have been brought up in the church and so many people have contributed to their faith journeys. It was a proud day for our family.

Baby, it's cold outside!

I've always liked winter.....love snow and love wrapping up in a warm blanket. But, this cold snap we've been having..well, it's just too much! I can't seem to get warm. The air temperature this morning was 2, with wind chills at -18. That's crazy. The pond across the street from us is completely frozen. I feel really sorry for the ducks that live in it. I don't know what they're doing to stay warm. I'm glad we have our gas bill on level pay, because I wouldn't want to see how sky-high the heating bills would've been otherwise!

Keep it clean?

Alison's bedroom somehow had morphed into this pit of messiness. I decided that today was the day to tackle it. She had tons of clothes that she'd outgrown that I had to sort through. I bagged up 3 huge garbage bags full of clothes that Thornton took to Goodwill. They'll be stocked on size 5-6 girls clothes for a while now! Poor Alison has a tiny room...it's hard to keep clean. But, when she got home from school, I explained to her that she was old enough to keep it clean and it was completely on her from here on out. So...we'll see!

Brimming with pride

Thornton has been a smoker for 24 years. He gradually had increased the number of cigarettes he smoked a day and was probably smoking 2 packs a day. He had tried to quit many times. Most attempts were very half hearted. This time is different. He started taking Welbutrin 3 weeks ago and then went on the nicotine patch a week ago yesterday and he did it! He quit! He is doing so well, it's crazy! I know that probably 100 people are praying for him...probably more people than we'll ever know. The first day, he got calls from people at our church every hour on the hour to encourage him. I'm telling you...I don't care if I don't get a Valentine's present or a birthday present from him this year...I got my present!

Rachel's 11

Today is Rachel's 11th birthday! She is transforming before our eyes into a beautiful, confident, amazing young woman. The kids have a 1/2 day of school today, so we're going to go out for a birthday lunch w/ family. It works out well, because we can't do anything tonight because Rach has dance from 4-8 and we have church activities. Off to wrap her presents!

Report Cards

The kids brought home their 2nd quarter report cards today. Patrick got all Bs and one A (Honors History). I know he can do better...and I think he knows he can do better, but it's hard to be too mad about those grades. Several teachers commented on what an asset he was to have in class, so that's nice. Rachel got all As and one B (Advanced Math). She, of course, is mad to get a B at all, but considering it's 6th grade math, I think she did awesome. Alison doesn't get letter grades yet, but her report card was fabulous. She is now reading at grade level (after reading below grade level all her school-life). She really works hard and it's showing! We just couldn't be prouder!

Go ballerina girl!

The kids got their report cards today (I'll blog on that later). But, most importantly, Rachel earned the Presidential Physical Fitness Award...an accomplishment that her incredibly athletic brother has NEVER achieved! Who says ballerinas aren't buff??

Mush

I go through cycles w/ food....like all of a sudden I'll have a craving for a food and I'll eat it a lot and then the fad will pass. Last week I had a thing for Cream of Wheat. To me, Cream of Wheat w/ brown sugar is such a comfort food....I love it! Well, the kids made fun of me for a while until one by one they asked to taste it. They all loved it too! So now, in the morning, I'll get requests to make "mush", as they so lovingly refer to it. I've created monsters!